Saturday, September 17, 2005


- Third day in a row without a movie. Football is killing me, and it didn't really feel like I watched that much today. I watched most of Vandy/Ole Miss, all of Bama/South Carolina, the end of ND/MSU, and all of UF/UT. Okay, that's actually a fair bit of football, but not flipping back and forth between three different games at once made it seem like it wasn't much.

- Vandy is off to a 3-0 start and I find myself a Commodores fan. I'm glad we don't play Vandy so I can root for them all season. Seriously, I'm calling Bama/Vandy in Atlanta. You know it would be awesome.

- I was sure Michigan State would end Weis's reign of terror before it really began, but I didn't think it would be that close. I might have to rethink my position on the backitude of The Irish and bump them up from a 7 win team to a 9.

- Thank you Gators, for allowing me to live vicariously.

Alabama 37, South Carolina 14

The Negatives:
-Dropped balls. Hee. Seriously though, Prothro had some drops against MTSU but then it looked like we had gotten over that last week. Those receivers are too good to play that poorly.
-Still not pleased with the special teams on kick returns. The Cocks got off a couple of good returns, and even if they didn't do them any good those kinds of things are going to hurt us in the long run.

The Positives:
-Just about every damn thing. The benefit of game tape was readily apparent. Kines broke it off in Spurrier's offense and we even survived the quick flash of Spurrier trickery at the start of the 3rd quarter.
-Brodie is still walking after taking off on several runs. Thankfully he's learned to slide.
-What did Prothro average, 29.5 ypc? Hell. Yes.
-I counted six different players running the ball out of the backfield for big gains. Losing Darby next year will suck, but not that much.
-Wilson also looked good at mop up. I still want Croyle healthy, but if he goes out with injury we should be better off than last year and we know the QB situation for next season is looking good.

Friday, September 16, 2005


-Went to Lee's to cook out tonight. I watched some of the UTEP/Houston game, and I sure am glad UAB has a decent defense because I doubt they'd survive a shoot out in El Paso.

-If by "hope" they mean "show up"...

-Me and Van took a road trip one time (I think this was when we went to North Carolina but that seems wrong for some reason) and were dialing through the local radio stations and came across one playing "Big River" and thought "hey, that's cool, Cash on the radio" and then they played "Folsom Prison Blues" and it was like "oh, must be a double play gimmic" and then they played "There Ain't No Good Chain Gang" and I knew that the only reason radio stations played older artist's songs back to back anymore was when they died and so I freaked out and we pulled in at the next station and looked at all the papers and didn't see anything so I thought maybe he had just died that morning after they had all gone to print so I was flipping out and we got back in the car and it turned out that it really was just a gimmic where the station played three in a row from a given artist, but it scared the crap out of me. Which is why, Yahoo!, you really shouldn't put a headline like Blues Legend B.B. King Turns 80 on your front page, because anyone who reads it will only see Blues Legend B.B. King and immediately think he's dead. I thought I'd jinxed him by talking about him earlier. Thanks for the scare, jerks.

-I've never really considered this before, but is UT a hated rival for everyone? There seems to be a lot of people that have UT playing in their meteor game and I can honestly say I've never heard a single positive thing said about the Vols by anyone but their own fans. I know I hate them as a Bama fan, but the sincere depths of hatred reserved for UT by every other football fan I've met is astounding. Even all the Auburn fans I know hate them and, logically, shouldn't they be for UT in a whole enemy of my enemy is my friend sort of deal? I pull for Georgia because anyone that hates both Auburn and Tennessee as much as I do can't be all bad. And yeah, I hate Auburn, but that's really more of a principle thing. They're the annoying little brother of the state (unlike the cool cousin, UAB) and sometimes they can be allright (like when they beat UT) and you can have a few laughs together, but their fans are so fairweather and they have such a huge inferiority complex that even during their "people's champions" season they were more interested in our failures than their successes. It's embarassing really, since they're in for a few rough years (it's the one to two good seasons a decade principle) and after this season you won't be able to find an Auburn fan outside of Lee County. I look at Auburn like this: if they win, okay, if they lose, haha, and when they take the field against the Tide I want them beaten bloody and crying for their mothers while Tubby looks confused and does his stupid, half-hearted "good effort" clap while straining to hear if any jet engines are being fired up nearby. Hell, I even like the City of Auburn, I've always had a lot of fun there. On the other hand, I want the entire city of Knoxville razed and pillaged and their women carried away as trophies by invading hordes of barbarians, who would have the element of surprise since local law enforcement would initially confuse them with freshman recruits. Anyway, it's just weird to me that a team can be so universally reviled.

And for a minute there, I lost myself...

Talk about a detuned radio, 99.5 had been giving me fits lately. First off, where's the rock gone? In one hour's time yesterday I heard one Skynyrd song (That Smell) and the rest was filled with the likes of Jackson Browne and Journey. Then, to put the weird cherry on top, they played The Thrill is Gone. That's right people. B.B. King. On a classic rock station. Which, that's fine. I like B.B. King. I even considered calling in a request for How Blue Can You Get?. But that's just a little weird, even if they have taken to playing a lot of SRV lately. SRV can play the blues, no doubt, but he really falls more into the blues-rock category so that's understandable, but B.B. is closer to soul and R & B than blues or rock and it just seemed wrong.
And then today, Pearl Jam. Even Flow. On a classic rock station. They too are a little more understandable than B.B. King, but I was in high school when Ten came out. Music from the 90s isn't classic yet. I mean, they play Aerosmith songs from the 90s, but Aerosmith is a classic band. Pearl Jam wasn't around til the 90s. I'm weirded out now.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


A few quick notes:
-Happy Birthday to Windy.
-Happy Birthday to Charity.
-Unlike some people (Whose names' start with an L and end in an eslie), I don't forget birthdays. Also, you can totally bust Sarah for telling me.
-My friend Claudia at Ole Miss's phone got knocked around in her purse last night at about 12:30 and managed to call me, which was okay because I was still awake and watching 8MM, but then at 1:30 after I had just gone to sleep she saw that she had dialed me and decided it would be a good idea to call and apologize and that wound up being a two hour conversation. So, again, no sleep for Todd.
-It has been a hell of a day at sea, sir. After the three hours of sleep I managed to eek out, my sinuses decided to go completely bitchcakes this morning and I've been sneezing and coughing and blowing snot all over the printing floor because I'm gross and because we were too busy for me to stop and get tissue every five seconds ever since. Seriously, snot with the viscosity of water was running right out of my nose. It was disgusting. Plus, like I said, we were insane busy. We've taken on doing the printing for the gift shop at Death Valley because the printer that usually does it is an old friend of ours and both his shop (which was across the street from the Superdome) and his house were destroyed by Katrina. So he's in the 'ham and we're contract printing all of his orders so he can keep his LSU license and cash flow going until he gets up and running again. Thankfully Bama plays on the road this weekend or we would never have had the time to get out the usual volume of Bama shirts plus the LSU stuff.
-I say all this because that' s my excuse for not watching jack tonight. I'm taking a shower and watching The OC and then that's it. Goodnight, and God bless.

Update: I slept from about 6:30 to 9 when Sarah came over to watch The OC (The Dean of Discipline? That sounds like a really lame wrestler.) and the caught the end of the Utah/TCU game. How do you upset Oklahoma, then lose to SMU, and then upset Utah? Granted, OU and Utah aren't the teams they were last year, but apparently TCU isn't either. Too bad they left C-USA after pushing for the other Texas schools to join. Now UAB gets to travel half way across the damn country to play UTEP (if that weren't Iron Bowl weekend I'd seriously consider the trip, that should be a great game) and the whole conference gets brought down a peg with SMU and Rice joining. Talk about the Big 12 having some serious disparity between it's divisions. The East looks tough with only East Carolina as a patsy while the West has UTEP and...well, they have UTEP. Tulane usually acquits themselves well and Houston never looks terrible in defeat, but that's it. So you know what, screw you TCU. I hope you choke on those mormons next weekend.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

#13. Definitely.

The Phat Phree brings us a list of the 50 most embarassing ways to die. In at #46:

Like Bear Bryant
Winning the Liberty Bowl, retiring, and dying three fucking weeks later. The shortest retirement on record.

The man said he'd die without football, prophesying your own demise isn't cool? Plus, seriously, don't mess with Bryant. Even in death he'll kick your ass up and down and you'll just wind up thanking him.


723) Jailbait!. Or what Todd looks for in a woman. ZING! So anyway, needlessly lewd and vulgar (and you know I love me some lewd and vulgar), scripted by someone with no grasp of dialogue, character development or even basic storytelling, populated with wretched actors...I could go on and on. Seriously, the guy who directed Pump Up the Volume, a movie I once watched three times in one day, turned in this pile? It was so completely awful that I almost quit watching after 30 minutes and wrote it off as a loss because I'm not sure how many more of these I can take. Earlier on I could suffer through a movie this bad for the sake of one more down and because I didn't want to waste time watching half a movie and then quitting, but it's getting harder and harder to soldier through.

724) Frenzy. Well I'll be. London does swing like the pendulum do. Roger Miller, you magnificent bastard, I read your book!

725) 8MM. Seriously, seriously, seriously messed up. I know it's just a movie and I'm sure snuff films really are just urban myths because I have to, but the other more than hardcore stuff in this, you know it's real and you know that filthy fucking degenerates are out there making/watching/buying it and the capacity for depravity and evil in some people is more than astounding or horrifying because there really are no words to describe what sort of complete and total evil it must take to do that. I don't know why this movie was even made. It's not that it was bad, because it was a well made warning against the tangential effects of pure evil because it really does exist and because it exists without warning or reason or excuse or relativity or grey areas and because it changes/destroys everything around it and because its easy to ignore and its easy to excuse because good people don't have that capacity and don't want to believe that other do and maybe I guess that's why the movie was made.

725 down, 275 to go.

- 16 Horsepower gave me a link on his blog, which was really nice of him, but it's made me think that I might be crazy. Seriously, is watching 1000 movies in 1 year an insane thing to do? Like, I always knew it was a little nuts, but more like funny nuts, all "oh that Todd, he's such a character, always up to something!", but not flat out bitchcakes crazy. Reading "the chronicle of his watching 1,000 movies in one year. He's currently in the 700s I believe" makes me sound nuts. Am I? Seriously? Cause it's kind of bothering me. Would a normal person even consider such an undertaking, much less actually do it? Or is this more of a charmingly eccentric sort of thing, like the time my Dad was convinced he could take the new quarters out of circulation? I'm insane aren't I?

Clay has him cold...

I've been meaning to link to Clay's Bama Page but kept forgetting to, but this gem was too much to ignore:

When we beat Auburn
Tubby will blame his players.
Tubby will blame his coordinators.
Tubby will blame a cheap shot from a Bama player.
Tubby will blame, and continue blaming anyone but himself.

Check out all the other reasons Bama won't deserve any of their wins this season. It's sounding like '92 all over again.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


721) A Time to Die. You know, not many directors have the courage, the talent, the skill, hell, the balls to tackle a subject like the haunting eroticism inherent in taking a former porn star to a shooting range. Thankfully Charles T. Kanganis is such a man.

722) The Wrong Man. Two more Hitchcock's and I'm done. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a copy of Torn Curtain in Birmingham and it isn't on DVD so Netflix doesn't have it either. This is troubling. Anyway, the more I see of Henry Fonda the more I think it's wrong for him to be in anything other than westerns. The first movie I ever saw him in was The Cheyenne Social Club and it seems like, until this year at least, westerns are the only moveis I've seen him in. Aside: Watch Firecreek NOW if you want to see Henry Fonda play a scary ass sumbitch. I have no idea why this isn't on DVD yet, it's one of Fonda's and Stewart's best performances and one of the best westerns I've ever seen. I'm just saying. So yeah, unless he's a tough guy gunslinger then he just seems wrong to me and I can't get into it. Still, it's a solid Hithcock outing.

722 down, 278 to go.

Monday, September 12, 2005


720) Triggermen. I bet the cover of this one reads "If you liked Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels you'll LOVE Triggermen!" That would, of course, be false advertising. It's not that it's bad, it's just a knock off.

720 down, 280 to go.

-Windy bought me Anchorman for my birthday so instead of watching a second movie Charity and I watched it. She should have been home studying, I should have been watching something new, but screw it. That stuff is just too funny to pass up.

- I want so badly to believe she's back, but I know better. Look at her eyes. She doesn't know where she is. She doesn't know she's being photographed with Kelly Osbourne. She probably thinks KO is a waiter and is wondering why she doesn't get her ass in gear and bring that bottle of tequila already. I imagine some PR flack is sending this picture around to anyone that will look at it, all "Lohan is off the smack and eating again, see how healthy she looks?!" when really anyone would look good next to that thing. Lindsay, come home. I've got a fridge full of pudding and plenty of red hair dye. We can make this right.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

My Mama met my Daddy down in Alabam...

...they tied the knot so here I am.

717) My Baby's Daddy. This weekend has been rough. I struggled through both this and White Chicks against my better judgement. It's pretty miraculous that I've gone this long and are just now running into movies that I'm watching just to watch. Pretty much everything else I've had an interest in seeing. But this and White Chicks were two that I thought I'd never stoop to and I wish I hadn't.

718) The Program. Wasn't there some talk when this came out that the team was modeled after Florida State? Anyway, good football movie. I started it during the Steelers/Titans halftime and since Pittsburgh wasn't in any real danger I went ahead and finished it.

719) Party Girl. I don't really get Parker Posey. She was pretty funny in Josie and the Pussycats and Best in Show, but other than that she's just another average actress.

719 down, 281 to go.

-I'm updating now because it's my birthday and if I don't want to watch anymore movies then I'm not going to. But I probably will.

- On my way to my Parent's this morning I saw a guy working in his garden while wearing a Santa Claus hat.

- I'm not good at eulogizing, but the death of Gatemouth Brown is a serious loss to the world of music. If you haven't heard his music do yourself a favor and check out his rendition of Caldonia from Just Got Lucky, all of American Music, Texas Style, and his performance on Lighning in a Bottle.

- I used to have a huge crush on Rachel Ray but I'm seriously getting over it. I had the flu last year and for a whole week I seriously did nothing but watch HGTV and think "God bless, they spent how much on that?" and the Food Network and think "I could totally make that if I could get to the grocery store" and every afternoon I was giddy as a school girl when 30 Minute Meals came on because of my mad crush. She was just so cute and spunky that I couldn't help but love her. And now I keep seeing commercials for her whole around the world show or whatever it is and she looks kind of bitchy. Like, she's still cute and spunky, but you know that Friends episode where Joey is dating that girl that keeps hitting him? Yeah, that's totally her. And I bet I would probably take her to Nancy's or something to meet everyone and she'd act like a total spazz and maybe get a little drunk and try to tell Nancy how to cook and totally embarass herself and everyone would hate her and I'd be mortifyed and try to be all "Well, early day tomorrow, we better be on our way sweetie" and she'd cause a scene all "SO I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR FRIENDS?! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY?" and I'd be all "No, of course not..." and she'd be all "SCREW YOU AND YOUR STUPID FRIENDS" and storm out and everyone would be really quiet except for Lee, who would also probably be drunk and dying laughing, and I'd have to chase her down the street and she would be all crying and "Your friends hate me and I bet you hate me" and I'd have to be all re-assuring and try to keep her from sitting down in the middle of the road and she'd be all "They think I'm charming in Tuscany" and I'd be all "Yes, of course they do, now let's get in the car" and then she'd break out sobbing and screaming profanities and all the neighbors would be peaking out their windows and calling the cops. That chick is nothing but trouble man, I'm glad we aren't dating.

- Bama won, Blazers won, Steelers won. I'd say it's been a pretty good weekend football wise.