In part one of a ten part series I like to call "Celebrity Ass That I'm Reasonably Certain I Could Kicktm," I give you Bill Paxton. Described as a "...a tall rugged actor with boyish good looks and an intense demeanor..." by Yahoo! Movies, Paxton worked his way into the movie going public's collective conscious when he was cast as the bullying older brother Chet in the 80s teen classic Weird Science. He would go on to play such other memorable characters as the "Game over, man!" guy from Aliens, the guy that pissed himself in True Lies, and one of the Earp brothers (you know, the one that wasn't Kurt Russell or Sam Elliott) in Tombstone, but it was his duties as narrator/host of the James Cameron documentary Ghosts of the Abyss and the nerdy, somewhat prissy manner in which he handled them that convinced me that if I had to I could totally kick his ass.














There's no Vasquez to save you now, Paxton!

If you think the fish is awesome, wait 'til you see the guy's name. (via Garfield Ridge)

Happy Flag Day, everybody.

Please, someone get a chainsaw quick!

Bama gets another verbal commitment today at a position that's really needing some depth:

"I am 6-3, 215-pounds,. Alabama recruited me as a middle or SAM linebacker. It really depends on how much weight I add."

Jennings recorded 105 tackles, nine tackles for loss, four forced fumbles and one sack during his junior campaign.

"I will not take anymore visits," he said. "I am solid to Alabama."

As some of you may know already, Nicole took a bit of a detour on her way to Florida this weekend. She's okay, or as okay as one can be while concussed in Wisconsin, but I still feel the need to exact some revenge on her behalf...


















We can skin a buck, we can run a trotline...

So if you happen to find yourself near a group of deer and with a rifle (or bow!) in your hands this weekend, go on and drop one for Nicole.

Last Roethlisberger update of the night:

The Worldwide Leader is reporting that Big Ben is out of surgery and that the doctors are not confirming any knee injuries:

"He suffered multiple facial fractures," Pituch said. "All of the fractures were successfully repaired. His brain, spine, chest and abdomen appear to be without serious injury. And there are no other confirmed injuries at this time."

Hopefully that means he'll only be out for the roughly seven weeks it will take for the jaw fracture and the other various injuries to heal. The pre-season starts on August 12th at Arizona, a short eight weeks away, but the real season opener isn't until September 7th at home against Miami and if Roethlisberger's pre-season performance last season (not a single touchdown drive) is any indication then resting for the pre-season and stepping back in for the opener shouldn't be a problem. Even if he isn't ready by then, it's possible that he could sit until the first division game, a 9/24 match up with Cincinnati. Worst case scenario, Charlie Batch will step in as the starter, the Steelers will have to begin developing Omar Jacobs as the new QB post haste, or Tommy Maddox can be called back. Of the three options, Batch holding things down til Big Ben's return is the most comfortable. Jacobs isn't ready to play QB in the NFL, and I imagine he's being groomed as a receiver to replace Randle El , and the idea of Tommy Maddox under center again should send chills down the spine of any Steelers fan. But let's just hope none of that will be necessary...

The Devil and Daniel Johnston

Daniel Johnston is not someone I'm familiar with musically, but is instead one of those "legends" that one hears just enough about to find fascinating but not enough about to see them for what they truly are. After seeing this, though, I now see that in Johnston's case his true self and story is that of a very sick and very sad man.

I (still) can't claim to be knowledgeable about Johnston's music and I'm not sure about how such knowledge would have affected my viewing of his story, but from what little I have heard I've never been inclined to believe in his "genius," and the video and audio clips in the documentary didn't provide much in the way of enlightenment as to why everyone else does. Despite that, though, the story was an interesting, if ultimately depressing, one.

Johnston suffers from schizophrenia and, as such, is a very fragile man prone to mental breakdowns and violent outbursts. Throughout the show we see and hear (from a vast archive of audio and video that Johnston compiled of his thoughts and actions with compulsive fervor) his strangest thoughts and notions and are witness to a clearly deranged man as he rants on and on about Satan and demons and other various obsessions that have consumed him for years. His stints in mental institutions and hospitals are documented, including audio tapes sent to his manager where he professes his strange desires ranging from the Beatles reuniting and acting as his backing band to being a spokesperson for Mountain Dew. We see him perform to wild acclaim in front of thousands in Austin, TX, and to awkward silence for a small gathering of the best the New York underground had to offer in a record shop in Manhattan. We watch his parents (and his father especially) beam with pride at each of his triumphs and then break into tears describing the pain they've gone through in trying to keep Daniel safe. We see his siblings describe the emotional toil of having their own brother removed from a family gathering by the police for fear he might harm them in their sleep after having seen him break one brother's rib in a scuffle over Christmas tree decorations and his accusations that they were all Satanist.

As former "girlfriend" (they never dated, he just claimed her and she didn't want to hurt his feelings) Kathy McKarty explains, Daniel has self-sabotaged every good thing in his life, but as far as making a legend goes, he's done everything right. On one trip to New York City to record with members of Sonic Youth and Half Japanese, Johnston, fresh from a stay at the hospital, goes berserk again and wanders about the city claiming that he's on a mission from God and that all the efforts being made to send him back to his family in West Virginia were the works of Satan. It's these sort of antics that made him a legend to his fans but that have caused so much pain to his family, to those who have a real connection with him and love him as a son or brother, not as a distant figure that they only know as a child-like voice on a bootleg cassette tape, and this is what made me saddest of all. The closing scene shows Daniel with his aging parents whom Daniel completely relies on, and it makes me wonder what will become of him when all he has left are his admirers, not his loved ones.

It gets worse (emphasis mine):

Roethlisberger lost most of his teeth, fractured his left sinus cavity bone, suffered a nine-inch laceration to the back of his head and a broken jaw, and injured both of his knees when he hit the ground, police said.

It's really early to be talking about next year's recruiting class, but the pathetic side of me perked up at seeing the headline "Tide Lands Big Offensive Lineman: Alabama reels in first in-state...."

This is so bad...

Roethlisberger injured in motorcycle crash

In May 2005, Steelers coach Bill Cowher lectured Roethlisberger on the dangers of riding without a helmet.

"He talked about being a risk-taker and I'm not really a risk-taker. I'm pretty conservative and laid back, but the big thing is to just be careful," Roethlisberger said at the time. "I'll just continue to be careful. I told him we don't ever ride alone, we always ride in a group of people, and I think it makes it even more safe."

Here's hoping he comes out of this okay...

UPDATE:
Maybe good news from Pittsburgh Live:

"He is right now in the (operating room) undergoing some surgery from injuries he received in this accident today," said Dr. Larry Jones, chief of trauma and burns at Mercy Hospital, Uptown. ... He was talking to me before he left for the OR. He's coherent. He's making sense. He knows what happened."