Saturday, April 01, 2006

I had some quality alone time with the PS2 this afternoon...


Maryland 48-14

Stanford 38-14

at Rice 38-15

at Duke 45-17

Air Force 21-16 (A surpisingly difficult game. I guess the computer really gets up against a rival.)

Kent State 56-17

at Rutgers 35-14

Tulane 24-21 (With all 24 of my points coming in the 1st quarter, and all 21 of theirs coming in th 4th. Weirdest game I've ever played.)

at Notre Dame 44-14 (The Irish get spanked like they stole something.)

Temple 28-14

at Army 45-3

Up next? A 6-5 TCU in the Emerald Bowl. The service academies get no respect...

Friday, March 31, 2006

QB Mark Guillon Injures Knee; JP, Jimmy Barnes both okay...for now.

Damn you injury bug!
On today's episode of "The Bachelor Life," we find our hero eating cereal from a Glad disposable tupperware bowl because he just couldn't bring himself to wash out a regular one.

Pathetic and liberating all at once.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

The day will soon arrive when my family finds me dead at my desk from an apparent case of what doctors like to call "head exploding." The cause? Sharon. Fucking. Stone. Is there any creepier mental image than a psycho like Sharon Stone prowling the local Old Navy for young and impressionable girls to lecture about sex? Maybe it's just the Southern Baptist in me, but I'm pretty sure it isn't her place to be pulling kids aside after their parents are gone to have a frank discussion about the birds and the bees.


"If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job."

The hell? Exactly what situation is she talking about here? Because I'm pretty sure the only situation where one can't get out of sex is what law enforcement officials call RAPE. So if it comes down to it, girls, offer to blow your rapist and maybe he'll leave you alone.

Which one would you trust to be alone with your daughter?
Margison expected to interview Mike Davis

Thoughts tonight when I have time...

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I'm not going to act surprised or excessively pleased that Jermareo Davidson has decided to stay for his senior year. I'm not surprised since after what happened to Kennedy Winston if anyone on the Tide basketball team had decided to jump ship early I'd have said "best wishes, jackass" and written them off as stone idiots, because only a stone idiot wouldn't have taken that lesson to heart. As for excessively pleased, well, okay, maybe I am. The growth he's shown this season puts him on track to be a real force next time around and this team needs all the experienced leadership it can get. He has the ability to take over a game and has shown it in spots, but he's still not clutch enough to really be the dominant player he would need to be to warrant early entry into the NBA. Plus, it's just good to see a prospect with a smart enough head on his shoulders to forego an iffy chance at big money and prove he's the talent he thinks he is in the college arena. As Nico puts it, "(a) most wise move Mr. Davidson."
Dear San Fransisco,
The hell?

Your friend,

P.S. Seriously.

It could have been worse...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Britney Sculpture of Birth Causes Stir

#3,782 on the list of weird and/or trashy things that never would have happend if Britney and I were still together.

Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night...
Further proof that Sharon Stone has lost her damn mind. (video via Malkin)

Bitchcakes crazy doesn't even begin to describe her.

The Navy Dynasty: Mid-Season Update

Maryland 48-14

Stanford 38-14

at Rice 38-15

at Duke 45-17

Air Force 21-16 (A surpisingly difficult game. I guess the computer really gets up against a rival.)

Kent State 56-17

at Rutgers 35-14

Remaining Schedule:


at Notre Dame


at Army
French Protesters Pour Into the Streets, reminding French corporations of the wisdom in not hiring them.

The real issue? French youth want to wear their Michael Myers masks everyday while corporate dress codes only allow them on Casual Friday. Also, I thought French chicks were supposed to be hot...
Ocean's 13? The hell? First off, Ocean's 12 sucked big time. BIG TIME. The trickery at the end of 11 was clever, the myriad trickeries at the end of 12 made the movie seem retarded and broke every rule of decent story telling. What it boiled down to was an excuse for a bunch of lame ass movie stars to run around Europe and get paid for it, and for that I am eternally resentful and want my two hours back. So now they're going to make ANOTHER one? I usually roll my eyes when film snobs get to trashing on "Hollywood," but this time I'm right there with them.

At least Trout Face won't be around uglying the place up.

Monday, March 27, 2006

You know how you always read or hear about those crazy schemes when the cops will send out notices to all the people with unpaid parking tickets saying they won a free ham or a boat or something, and then when the idiots show up they arrest them? I was really hoping all those illegal alien protests was really just an awesome scheme cooked up by immigration. Oh well.

If this isn't a golden opportunity, I don't know what is.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

- George Mason upsets UCONN, and I laugh with glee. I have a total hatred for UCONN the basketball team, yet am strangely drawn to the football program as evidenced by the fact that I included them in my "Who Should I Coach Next?" poll. Probably it's because the basketball team kept Bama from reaching the final four a few years ago, and the football team has never done anything but be a loveable underdog.

- I'm not pleased. I figured Anderson to be a little classier than to talk about wanting to win a title with UAB and staying at home in Birmingham for his kids and then run off to Missouri, but whatever.