04-23-2005

312) Meet the Fockers. As I suspected, Hoffman and Streisand annoyed the hell out of me. Surprisingly though, Hoffman was the more annoying of the two and he's the one I can actually stand on occasion. Blah.

313) Kung Fu Hustle. Oh man, that was awesome. I've been so excited to see it ever since I saw the previews and it lived up to my expectations.

314) Badman's Territory. I had to work for a little while this morning so I taped my Saturday morning western for later. Excellent.

315) Grand Illusion. For one of the greatest movies of all time this sure did suck. Securing the Belgian border would have probably been a better use of the French's time than calling for unity across class and national boundaries. And that whole Maginot Line thing was pretty stupid, too.

315 down, 685 to go.

So I slacked off today too. We went over to Steve and Donna's for hamburgers for awhile and it was nice to be out again. I'm really starting to resent this whole stupid endeavor. On the one hand it's pushed me to see a lot of things that I've always wanted to see and that I probably wouldn't have gotten around to without such motivation, but on the other hand it has consumed what little life I actually have. I'm a bonehead.

04-22-2005

311) The Butterfly Effect. I actually watched this last night after I updated. I was only planning on watching a little but I got sucked in and had to finish it so I didn't get to sleep til about 1 AM, but that's okay cause it was worth it. They did a great job pulling the viewer in and making you want to find out why this stuff is happening so that when you get to the ludicrous solution you're just so relieved to have an answer that it doesn't matter how dumb it is. I actually liked it a lot even though I wasn't expecting to.

311 down, 689 to go.

Had dinner at Fancy Nancy's to celebrate the opening of the new Lee branch and played another rousing few rounds of Scene It. Lee and I continue our unbeaten streak despite the best efforts of a few sore losers to rewrite the rules in their favor (you know who you are!). I've borrowed Nancy's copy of Meet the Fockers and I'm going to start it tonight. I've been pretty set on avoiding it because of Hoffman and Streisand but I liked Meet the Parents a lot and everyone I know has seen it and swears it's hilarious so we'll see.

04-21-2005

309) Yakuza Demon. So I decided to watch another Miike, but this one totally sucked. After the crazy splatter fest of Ichi the Killer this was a total let down. It was boring and the story was just dumb. I'm so dissapointed.

310) The Medallion. I was also kind of dissapointed in this. It was weird, cause seeing Jackie do silly and embarassing things is just kind of natural, but I was really embarassed for everyone else because the script and gags were sooooo bad, and the special effects were so poorly done and obvious that it wasn't fun to watch Chan do all of his crazy high flying stunts cause it was obvious he was on wires and there was a ton of CGI going on around him. Tonight has sucked.

310 down, 690 to go.

CAAAAAAAAAALLLLIIIIIIFFFOOOOOOOORRRNNNIIIIIIIAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
This new Jess girl is kind of hot in a really slutty way. Otherwise, bleh.

I don't see this as much of a surprise....

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

04-20-2005

4-20 baby, wooooooooooooooo!!!!! So anyways.....

307) The In-Laws. I was keen to see this since the original was hilarious (Serpentine, Shel! SERPENTINE!), and even if it wasn't quite as good it was still silly and over the top enough to be good. Lindsay Sloane is also now on my list of celebrity crushes.

308) Ray. Finally! And man, it was totally worth the wait. Just awesome, I can't wait to see it again.

308 down, 692 to go.

04-19-2005

305) MacArthur Park. This made me want to watch the first season of The Wire again so bad. Nothing too special really, but it was decent.

306) Sylvia. So Gwynnie was in the movie called The Anniversary Party where she plays, basically, herself (i.e. a dubiously talented blonde starlet trying to get parts in "serious" movies) and she's trying to get a part in Alan Cummings movie but he doesn't want her because of, well, obvious reasons. So he asks how she keeps getting roles and Jennifer Beals says it's because she gives great blowjobs (no hands!), and I really wonder if they were talking about her character or her, because there has to be some sort of sex related reason for why she keeps getting roles like this! The woman is an alumni of the "Tom Cruise No More Than Four Facial Expressions Are Required School of Acting", but she apparently skipped the course on not choosing movies that show how seriously out of your depth you are. I mean, plop her in a light romantic comedy and she's fine. Make her emote? You can't do it! I was going to say that she's not the only problem with the movie and maybe I'm being hard on her because the script really makes Plath look like nothing more than an extremely jealous woman who made the horrible decision to marry a total cad instead of the tragically ill woman that she was, but now that I think about it a decent actress probably could have brought the depth of the performance necessary to display that without words. So definetely a big fat whatever, and maybe even a little hatred.

306 down, 694 to go.

Definetely not watching One Tree Hill anymore.

... and the National Guard sleeps around his door...

...I ain't gonna work for Maggie's Pa no more...

Let me get this straight: The guy is sentenced to 640 years out of the 9,138 sought by the prosecution, but it's illegal for him to serve more than 30 of them? What's the point of sentencing him for more than 30 years, or for even seeking more than 30?! And yes, I get that he's an old man and he probably won't even live the whole 30 years, but what if he was only 20? He'd get out when he's 50 and still have a good stretch of living ahead of him! What is wrong with these people?!

...I'm going where the climate fits my clothes, Lord, Lord...

...and I ain't gonna be treated this a way...

Goofing off at work before everything goes to hell update:

1) TLLAL had on pink flats this morning, and yet she made them totally hot. I must have her.

2) It's true, everyone loves a monkey. Also, how awesome is it that in Arizona criminals are quaking in fear of SWAT Officer Truelove?

04-18-2005

303) My Little Chickadee. Fields dropped some pretty good one liners, but for the most part there didn't seem to be any direction to the plot. Okay, but whatever.

304) Ichi the Killer. Holy CRAP. I don't think I've ever seen a gorier, more twisted psycho of a movie than this. When the dude cut out his tongue?! And then they cut that hooker's nipple off?! CRAP! What is wrong with this guy? I kind of want to see more of his stuff, but I don't really know if I can.

304 down, 696 to go.

04-17-2005

299) Satyricon. This was just revolting. I don't think I've ever seen a more repugnant film in my whole life. It made me feel dirty just watching it. I guess that's a testament to Fellini as director because there has never been a better performance by such a large cast. Everyone in in every scene had nothing but lust and perversion splashed across their faces but with filth and rot lurking behind their eyes and I don't think there could be a more decadent or filthy scene made outside of pornography. But I'm utterly disgusted for having seen it, it did nothing but fill me with revulsion. I hope that was his aim, like it's some sort of warning against or indictment of a life lived for nothing but hedonism, but it comes off as a celebration instead. I need a shower.

300) High Sierra. It was nice to watch something that I could enjoy instead of flinching every twenty seconds. Great noir picture. Bogart is so awesome.

301) The Visit. A wealthy Ingrid Bergman returns to her impoverished hometown...for REVENGE! This was actually pretty good, if a little melodramatic at times.

302) Yellow Sky. What a weird movie. It would have never occured to me to make The Tempest into a western, but I guess that's why I'm not making westerns.

302 down, 698 to go.

So apparently the prevailing wisdom on Wisteria Lane is to always have Bree in a green shirt for her final scene. Which I'm totally okay with.

04-16-2005

293) Destry Rides Again. When I read the synopsis of this on the TCM schedule I was convinced I'd seen it before, but I decided to watch and make sure and I'm glad I did because I was thinking about Firecreek. Anyway, Stewart was funny as always so it was a nice start to the day.

294) Band of Outsiders. I was going to start in on Godard now that I'm about through with Fellini, but I just don't think I can do it. French New Wave is Italian Neo-realism's prissy, douche bag cousin and life is just way too short to waste on it.

295) Boomerang. Overly long, and Grace Jones scares the absolute BEJESUS out of me. There were some funny moments, but some sort of direction and a more liberal hand in the editing room would have really helped.

296) Hard to Kill. Maybe if the bad guys actually put a little effort into it...

297) How High. Robin is in town, AGAIN, so we watched this and it was damn funny. I so will buy it.

298) Sahara. Yeah, it was fun to watch, but it was stupid as hell. And Penelope would be so hot if it weren't for that foul, scientology laced stench that she picked up off of Tom Cruise.

298 down, 702 to go.

From earlier this afternoon:

Me: It's going to take ten years for me to listen to this...

Lee: What?

Me: A DECADE of Steely Dan.

I'm one clever sumbitch.