Saturday, August 05, 2006

I've had a few internet issues here at stately Jones Manor the past few days, but I finally got them resolved today. I know you've all been on pins and needles to find out my thoughts on the starting MLB position for the Blazers, so look for some more updates tomorrow. 'Til then...

That's me and The Girl doing the Hip Breaker...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Someone uploaded a clip of me walking down the sidewalk this afternoon...

Today's "Keep Your Children Away From Ohio Libraries" update courtesy Phillip Distasio, 34, of Rocky River, Ohio. Distasio, who claims to be a pagan friar and the leader of a church called Arcadian Fields ministry, is facing 74 charges of rape, drugs, and pandering obscenity to minors.

Defending himself, Distasio admitted to being a pedophile for some 20 years. His defense centers around his belief "that his apartment was a religious sanctuary where smoking marijuana and having sex with children are sacred rituals protected by civil rights laws." He also feels that "(t)he only reason I'm charged with rape is that no one believes a child can consent to sex. The role of my ministry is to get these cases out of the courtrooms."

And now for the typically Ohio part of the story, "Distasio was arrested after he wanted to write a blog for the Lakewood Library. Officials noticed something was wrong and notified Rocky River police."

No word yet if Distasio is also a Buckeyes fan.
Does Dr. Z scare anyone else?

No one that speaks German could possibly be evil...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Blazer Names to Know: Special Know Thine Enemy Edtion

Last Friday night, while waiting on some people to arrive so we could go and eat, I was busy upsetting Oklahoma with UAB in my '07 dynasty. I made the comment to Lee that if the real Blazers are to beat OU, then Adrian Peterson either needs to miss the bus to the stadium or get hit by it. It never occured to me that losing their starting QB might also do the trick...until today! With the news that Rhett Bomar has been dismissed from the Oklahoma Sooners, an upset for the Blazers enters the realm of the not likely, but entirely possible. Bomar got off to a slow start last season, earning the starting job after the loss to TCU in Week 1, but eventually worked into a rhythm with the offense, going 8-3 as a starter (including a win over a highly touted Oregon team in the Holiday Bowl) without the aid of Adrian Peterson in the backfield. Pre-season hype on the Sooners was growing as Peterson returned and trust in Bomar to run the offense after almost an entire season as starter plus the offseason grew, but Bomar's dismissal from the team again raises questions about the man under center. Listed as backup on the depth chart is JUCO transfer Joey Halzle. Halzle played in ten games for the Golden West Rustlers, throwing for 2,500 yards and 28 touchdowns on their way to a 1-9 record. Also available is Paul Thompson, who was the initial starting QB last season before moving to wide receiver. It is entirely possible that Thompson could be moved back to QB because of his experience, and if so there shouldn't be much change. Both he and Bomar were touted as dual threat QBs and the playbook being built around Bomar's skill set should translate well for Thompson.

What does all of this mean for UAB? Probably not a whole lot. If we are to have a prayer, no matter who the starter is, the defensive line and linebackers must negate the run game, get pressure on the QB, and force him to win through the air. We have a lot of experience coming back on the defensive side of the ball (unfortunately, that experience is a 5-6 season) plus a new DC and linebackers coach that will hopefully improve upon the dreadful showing last season, and it's possible they could rattle the inexperienced Halzle or the rusty Thompson and cause them to commit too many turnovers like they did in the upset loss to TCU. September 2nd just got a lot more interesting.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Blazer Names to Know: #29 Nick Coon

After a tremendous start as a true freshman in 2003, Coon's production dropped to almost nothing in '04 and '05 as he fell down the depth chart in favor of upperclassmen Roddy White, Reggie Lindsey, and Jhun Cook. In '03 he played in 10 of 12 games, catching 10 for 362 yards and 3 TDS, including a game winning 50 yard TD pass with :40 left on the clock to beat Baylor in Waco and a 57 yard TD pass to seal a victory at Memphis. Of those 10 receptions, six went for more than 35 yards and three were longer than 50 yards. His career best 91 yard TD catch (from this season's likely starting QB Chris Williams, playing in place of an injured Darrell Hackney) against Army is the fourth longest pass play in UAB history. In '04 his production dropped to only two catches (for 47 yards) while he dropped to #2 on the depth chart, and '05 saw him in nine games but on the receiving end of only one pass (for 8 yds against Rice). The coming season shows Coon as the #1 "Z" WR where hopefully he can again put up big numbers like he did in '03.

Monday, July 31, 2006

No wonder the mail takes so long...

After three days of polling, the vote totals look a little something like this:

Florida 45.5% 5
Miami 18.2% 2
Auburn 9.1% 1
Mississippi State 9.1% 1
Troy 9.1% 1
West Virginia 9.1% 1
Rutgers 0% 0
LSU 0% 0
total votes: 11

The people have spoken, and they've determined The Average Homeboy is a Gators man.

For those about to rap...poorly...we salute you!

Blazer Names to Know: #14 Willie Edwards

Edwards has yet to see any action for the Blazers after redshirting in 2003 and then sitting out '04 and '05 with health issues. Before coming to UAB, the LeFlore High School standout was named to the all-region team in his senior year and was voted the team's MVP after recording 42 catches for 770 yards and 9 TDs. During spring ball for the Blazers, Edwards appeared ready to step in and contribute immediately during the second spring scrimmage as he caught 3 passes for 66 yards, two of which were TD grabs of 37 yards and 18 yards. It was his strong performance during spring training that elevated him to the #2 spot on the depth chart in the "X" wide receiver position behind #25 Norris Drinkard.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

What is it with "State" fans?

By now everyone is familiar with the strange saga of Michael Cooper, the Ohio State fan caught masturbating in a public library. Now, via News of the Weird, comes word of an Arizona State student caught masturbating openly while watching pornography in the school's Hayden Library. His reasoning is priceless:

"To be honest, the Internet connection at my dorm isn't good enough."

Mississippi State, you could be next...