Saturday, July 30, 2005


570) Colorado Territory. Seeing as how this is a western remake of High Sierra using the same director, it got me to thinking. What if more directors took their stories and reset them in different time periods? Like, if DePalma were to make Scarface or Carlito's Way into a western? Or if Kelly's Heroes was set during the Civil War? Any crime drama would pretty well translate to the western genre, really. And what if they actually used the principle actors for the same characters? Ginger Snaps was pretty much remade in an 18th century frontier setting as Ginger Snaps Back with the same actresses playing roughly the same characters. Just something I thought about.

571) The Bone Collector. Good mostly for the actors. The story was a little dumb and the ending was kind of "what? That guy is the killer?!" but it's an enjoyable watch.

572) The Faculty. Sarah said this sucked, but I loved it. First, look at the cast:
Josh Hartnett, Famke Janssen, Elijah Wood, Salma Hayek, Jon Stewart, Clea DuVall, Piper Laurie, Bebe Neuwirth (one of the truly great unheralded hotties of our time), Christopher McDonald, Robert Patrick, and I'll even count Danny Masterson though he hasn't done jack except for That 70s Show. Second, tons of Alice Cooper covers on the soundtrack. I remember when it came out and they played a snippet of Schools Out over the trailer but it was being sung all sultry by some chick that you imagined was probably draped over a piano in a daringly cut evening gown while recording it and I knew I knew what song it was from and never could place it and when I finally did I resolved to see it but then never did because I'm like that but now I finally have. Third, Robert Rodriguez. After From Dusk 'til Dawn I'll watch anything he directs (save the Spy Kids movies, though I might wind up giving them a shot). So yeah. Loved it.

573) Hoosiers. Another one I'm a little embarassed to say I've never seen, but I just don't care enough about basketball to watch movies about them. Especially high school basketball. I mean, I can kind of get the whole obsession with high school football in some places. There isn't a very big one here unless you are actually attending that high school or have children playing on the team, but no one went to high school basketball games here EVER. I don't think the players even bothered to show up. So anyway, yeah, the redemptive nature of sports and molding young men into a team and blah blah blah.

573 down, 427 to go.

Finally got my cable and internet. They were supposed to come yesterday afternoon between 1 and 3 so I came home and sat here til 1:45 when they called and said no one could come out today so they'd be here between either 8 and 12 or 1 and 5 tomorrow. I asked the guy if he could maybe narrow it down a little more since that pretty well covered the entire day and he was like "nah, but they'll probably be there sometime tomorrow morning." So I woke up at 8 and they actually showed up at 8:45 and got everything working and I am now officially in love with cable internet. I had DSL before and didn't really believe all the hype about cable being so much faster because DSL was pretty darn fast and it's not like I was downloading gigantic files all the time or anything so even if it wasn't as fast it was fast enough, but now I'm wondering how I ever lived with DSL. Cause this cable business is FAST, people. FAAAAAAAST. Yeah, so that was a plus.

I also went and got all the rest of my crap from the old apartment and swept it out a little so they wouldn't think I was a total filthy degenerate when they came to inspect the place. Because anyone that saw it after we moved all the furniture off the top of the dust piles would know that I am, in fact, a filthy degenerate. Of course, Lee's room was actually a little worse than mine so there is that. I mean, there was dust a half inch thick under my bed, but at least there weren't giant cobwebs hanging from each corner. I don't know how we ever lived in that place without getting the plague or ebola or something. So to those of you that we actually defended our cleanliness to, let me be the first to admit we were wrong and you were so so right.

Even though it's only 8:45 I'm tired. To bed, and Honey Daniels.

Friday, July 29, 2005


569) Elizabeth. Blanchett has really become one of my favorite actresses, and this is a fine example of what a historical drama can (and should) be. Excellent.

569 down, 431 to go.

Finally got around to actually unpacking some stuff last night. My record player is once again hooked up and spinning and Monk's Dream was going all night long. I had forgotten how much I loved that record. In even better news, I figured out how to fit my 32" TV in my bedroom! That 20" I've been watching the last few nights was killing me. Also, the cable and internet should be hooked up today. I love it when a plan comes together. So yeah, only one last night but that's okay. I need to go to Target tonight and get some stuff and go pick up the last few things at the old apartment before I turn in the keys tonight but I should still be able to do two. I also have big plans to hit the theater tomorrow, but I don't know how well I'll do with the cramped up seats. I was hurting after The Fantastic Four but that was also after I had carried heavy furniture up a flight of stairs. We'll see.

Thursday, July 28, 2005


566) XXX: State of the Union. I'm not even going to start in on why this one sucked since there's not enough time in the week for that kind of discussion. #3 on the worst movies this year list.

567) The Score. Most heist/con movies walk a fine line between brilliance and blech, but this one manages to be merely mediocre. The plot was cliched and the ending predictable, but I enjoyed it allright. Maybe I'm just being soft on it for De Niro.

568) The Walking Dead. Important Life Lesson Alert: Never piss off Boris Karloff after he's been framed for murder, executed, and then miraculously brought back to life because brother, he's got some strange powers and he ain't afraid to use them.

568 down, 432 to go.

My new place is definetely haunted. I awoke to the sounds of my stereo at 12:12 am, after I had purposefully put it on mute after yesterday's oddness. I'm sleeping in the car tonight.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Pros and Cons of Self-Surgery

I'm bored out of my mind right now. UPS didn't show until 12:00 and then didn't even really have anything (considering it's only an hour later and I'm already done) so other than that I'm just sitting around answering the phone and goofing off on the internet. I'd go print, but everyone is here so there really aren't any orders that need doing, plus I'd stand there for maybe twenty minutes before I'd have to retreat back to my office to get off of my knee. This knee thing is really starting to suck. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it 'til August 19th. It didn't seem like it would be that long of a wait when we were scheduling it, but now I'm looking at the calendar, all "three more weeks? Give me a knife and flashlight, I'm cutting this bitch myself!" So I figure, on the pro side, I'll at least feel like I'm taking control of issues that have previously been a source of frustration to me and the sense of pride attained from this exercise will outweigh the con. Namely that I'll wind up cutting up a bunch of stuff that I shouldn't and I'll have to have a full replacement after all. But back to the pro, I totally want a bionic knee. But on the con side, rehab on that kind of thing is like a years worth of relearning to walk. But on the pro side, that's a small price to pay to begin my quest to be constructed mostly from machine parts as I continue to thumb my nose with contempt and derision at nature. But on the con side, that's sort of blasphemous. So maybe no on the self-surgery. I'm going to go to lunch and think about it. More later.


563) Constantine. Eh. It got caught up in itself too much, like if you don't know the story that isn't really ever provided in the way of at least a little bit of exposition then you aren't cool enough to be watching the movie. Kind of like listening in on a conversation between two strangers at a diner and you kind of know what they are talking about and can follow along but you don't know what started the conversation. Whatever.

564) The Rules of Attraction. I get the feeling the director was thinking "I just got hired to make me a movie, and I'm going to use ever clever little trick I learned in film school to make it look extra stylish and cool, too!" when he got the job. Decent enough story I guess, but all the clever little moments tended to drag the story and it got annoying after awhile, and that whole rewinding the action over and over again for the first fifteen minutes at the beginning gave me a headache. Whatever.

565) National Lampoon's Holiday Reunion. Absolutely dreadful. Just awful. Really. Awful. Terrible. I felt like I needed a shower after watching it, it was that bad. I would say it's as bad as Haiku Tunnel but the characters aren't completely reprehensible, just awfully, terribly, painfully unfunny. HATE.

565 down, 435 to go.

I'm back at work baby! I'm beginning to think that my new apartment is haunted. Yesterday morning when I woke up the water wasn't working right, like, I couldn't get hot water at all in the shower, but if I turned the hot water knob on the bathroom sink it would shoot cold water out of the shower faucet and crazy stuff like that. So I had to gather up my clothes and drive like mad to my parents house to take a shower so I wouldn't be late for jury duty and in the process forgot to grab my knee brace. So all yesterday I was hurting even though I was just sitting on my but all day. I'm still feeling it this morning, but I've got the brace on now and did my special exercises this morning so it isn't as bad as yesterday. Anyway, I got home and the water was fixed, but this morning I woke up to some really weird murmuring noise and I thought maybe the woman down stairs had her TV on really loud and I was hearing that, but it sounded like it was coming from my living room so I got up and went in there and somehow my stereo had not only been turned on, it had been switched from the aux input to FM and it wasn't on a station, it was just picking up random noises and static. I'm kind of freaked out by what I'm going to find tomorrow morning.

So jury duty, where to start. I never even got called for a jury yesterday, and after I got back from lunch they had us sit there until four when they announce that all the rest of the cases for this week had settled and we can all go home now, see you in 12 months. So that was two days completely wasted unless you count the reading. Which I'm actually kind of glad for. With all the movies I haven't really gotten a chance to read and even though I'm not a crazy literature buff I do enjoy reading and usually have at least one or two books on my nightstand at all times. I put a pretty good dent in The Crossing and am enjoying it so far, though it's not quite as good as All the Pretty Horses. I finished off The Legend of Bear Bryant last night, which was a very quick read and pretty shallow, but it was still interesting enough.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Jury duty. She's a bitch. I'm actually at our lunch break right now, but I have to be back in an hour to sit around and see if I get called. Only one jury got called this morning, and then another big group got called right before lunch but since the court can't get to them today they all got to go home while the rest of us get sent to lunch and have to come back. There are three more courts requesting juries but they could settle so my fingers are crossed that I'll be let go today. In sort of good news, the Birmingham Public Library is right next to the court house so I wandered over there and picked up biographies of George Jones (one that's on my Amazon wish list and I've been wanting to read for awhile) and Paul Gauguin for $1 a piece.

560) Backdraft. I wanted so much to like this, but I just couldn't. It's like there was too much going on, all "it's a family drama about two estranged brothers, no wait, it's an action movie about firefighters, no wait, it's a murder mystery, no wait..." The whole murder mystery thing felt like it was tacked on as an afterthought and really wasted De Niro, the Donald Sutherland thing was such a pale imitation/obvious rip off of Hannibal Lecter, I suspect Ron Howard forgot Jennifer Jason Leigh was in the movie half way through shooting because she suspiciously dissapeared after an hour of making her out to be some sort of love interest for the Baldwin, and so on and so on. It's just a big mess that could have been a good movie but instead, whatever.

561) Eraser. Standard Arnie action fare. Okay.

562) A Knight's Tale. Not as dumb as I thought it was going to be, but it did start to drag at the TWO HOUR mark, well after any teen movie should have ended.

562 down, 438 to go.

Monday, July 25, 2005


559) Swimfan. Yep, it was dumb.

559 down, 441 to go.

After sitting on my ass from 8:30 to 2:30 I finally got called for a jury and then got struck, so it's back to the courthouse in the morning. On the plus side, finished Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. I'll write more about it later, but here's a preview: Awesome. On the negative side, I'll have to find something else to read tomorrow. I'm thinking I'll finally get around to The Crossing. For some reason I feel like I should finish The Border Trilogy before I buy his new book and I'm sure I'll have plenty of time tomorrow to get cracking on it.

Sunday, July 24, 2005


Special all in one for the weekend since I won't have internet (or cable!) until Friday so updating will be sporadic at best this week update edition:

554) Blue Crush. Kate Bosworth in skimpy swimwear. Sweet.

555) The Fantastic Four. I was never really into the Fantastic Four when I was still reading comics, but I was still kind of irked at the casting of Jessica Alba as Sue Storm. The Invisible Girl was the picture of Blonde Haired Blue Eyed White Bread-dom and Alba is, well, not. It wouldn't have been that much of an issue, really, if Johnny wasn't her brother and the complete and total lack of family resemblance wasn't a factor, but he is her brother and looks nothing like her so there you go. That being said, I am so totally glad they cast Alba as Sue. She's so hot. Anyway, pretty good comic book movie. It wasn't as good as the X-men or Spiderman movies, but it wasn't a Daredevil like disaster either so I'm okay with it.

556) The Mask of Fu Manchu. Awesome.

557) National Lampoon Presents: Dorm Daze. More like a really long and extra raunchy sitcom than a movie. Still worth some laughs though.

558) A Love Song for Bobby Long. Who would have thought a movie with a couple of drunken screw ups from Auburn could be so good? I really did like this one in spite of itself, it seemed a little long at times and certain parts were kind of predictable, but ultimately the cast saved it from itself.

558 down, 442 to go.

We moved all the heavy stuff yesterday and brother, it sucked. I really had no idea how much heavy crap I had until we started toting it up the stairs. I think I'm going to like the new place allright once I get everything unpacked and settled in but it was a rocky start yesterday. I was going to do some laundry but when we moved the washing machine something inside the control panel popped loose so it never would cut off when the water level was right and I flooded the kitchen. Luckily I was in there when it started or it would have been much worse. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it so I gave up and started to take a shower but the drain was clogged so I had to run to the store and get some Drano before I could take one. Anyway, after much cursing and lamenting my old sucky apartment that at least had a functioning shower the drain was cleared and I fixed the washer so everything went smoothly after that. I still have to get my dishes from the old place which I am going to do as soon as I leave here (I'm at the office since I don't have internet at home) and sweep the place out (we were some filthy bastards) but that's it. News from the knee front; it hurts. It really wasn't that bad yesterday. It was giving me trouble as we were moving the stuff but once I took a handful of Advil and put some ice on it was okay. This morning was a different story. I'm pretty sure a large animal snuck in last night and sat on it for awhile. Tomorrow I have to report for jury duty which will give me some rest AND afford me the opportunity to finally finish Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer. I've been reading Steve's copy off and on whenever I go over there but last night when we went to see the Fantastic Four we were right by a Barnes and Noble so I ran in to pick up a copy to take with me. I'm not actually looking forward to the jury duty itself, but since I know the DA I'm pretty sure I'll get stricken from any jury I get called for. My mom had jury duty a few months ago and she said every time they asked if anyone knew him she said yes and they would let her go. Also, and I'm totally going to try this, some woman got sent home right away when they asked if anyone didn't feel like they could issue a judgement and she said she couldn't for religious reasons. So maybe I'll only waste a little time. Okay, enough for now, time to go move some more stuff and get some more movies.