Thursday, March 02, 2006


UAB 80, Memphis 74

AP story here. Birmingham News story here.

Many thanks to Nico for hooking me up with a ticket, and to Chris Jones for driving so far just to see his Tigers get beat.

"Nobody on this team thought we were going to lose this game. Everyone on our team in our hearts felt that we had a chance to beat them. We came out and showed the nation we can play with the best." -Wen Mukubu
Henceforth, I shall only answer to "The Honorable Ray Trimmler." That is all.
Alba Plays Hardball with "Playboy"

First off, kudos to Jessica Alba. She seems like a class act and my celebrity crush grows. Second, it's a good excuse to post a picture of her in her underwear.

Pass me the controller, I need to do some recruiting!

U! S! A! U! S! A!

I really don't care about soccer, or even understand the game in general, but even I know that the US beating a European team on European soil is pretty big. So in a fit of patriotic zeal, TAKE THAT POLAND!

Disclaimer: I actually have nothing but fond feelings for the Polish after the whole "resisting the commies" thing. Solidarity!

Resist the commies, and you too can have a sweet 'stache!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I'm in the middle of importing all of my CDs into itunes (and when I'm done I am so going to tear that itunes meme UP), and I just got to the Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack. Can I just say that Night on Disco Mountain might be the singlest greatest thing ever to happen to man? Cause I'm pretty sure it is.

Not even close...

One Saturday Night Behind the Variety Playhouse...

I was looking at Don's blog and noticed two things:

1. He refers to me as "Dangerous Todd Jones." Heh.
2. He has a myspace page with mp3s of his awesome folk stylings.

Go to the myspace page and check out some of his music. He's the folkiest.

P.S. Don, I just imported Postcards From Ghost Town into itunes and think you should put Hey Dave Matthews up for the people to hear. It's a classic.

It's true, I did.
I've debated all week long on whether to post this or not. It's funny as hell, but it's also kind of incriminating and just plain trashy to talk about such things. Anyway, since the other party doesn't have a problem with it, here goes. I had a guest this weekend, and in the early morning hours on Monday I startled her awake by shoving her to the other side of the bed and demanding she hand me the controller so I can do some recruiting. That's right, people, I had a hot girl in my bed and foremost in my dreams was landing a solid recruiting class for the Lobos. That is wrong on so many different levels.

Sweet dreams are made of these...

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

almost forgot...

Today's Hallway Scent: Badly burned hamburger meat!

It's just too good to be true...

Apparently Auburn's been using the mentally ill for security at their games, which kind of begs the question "what, the sane security didn't want to be around all those rednecks anymore?"

As if the "are we eagles or are we tigers" conundrum wasn't bad enough, having to pronounce Jordan-Hare "JURDEN-Hare" all those years finally drove head of security Tim Walker over the edge...
Brokeback Mountain

This is really what all the fuss was about? Really? Cause, wow. Talk about not living up to some hype. First off, you wanna talk boring? Cause this shit was BOR. ING. The cinematography was great. That's some pretty country up there and Lee used the backgrounds well, but at a certain point if you've seen Heath Ledger ride a horse through one stream you've seen him ride a horse through them all, so let's get on with the story. Second, it’s just not that great of a story to get on with. Love denied? Really? More like gay lust denied. Replace Jake with Maggie and it stops being about how “society” keeps people from practicing the love that dare not speak its name and starts being about two people that can’t seem to stop cheating on their respective spouses because they’re too busy heading to the mountains to get it on. I really don’t get the love angle at all. Maybe you can make the case that Jake was in love with Heath, but he makes a comment near the end to the effect that it isn’t Heath he needs, it’s the gay sex. That’s why he goes to Mexico. That’s why he hooks up with his gay ranch neighbor. Same thing for Heath: During the first love scene between him and Michelle Williams he turns savage, flipping her over and growling, like he did with Jake on the mountain. He hates Jake because he hates gays, but he’s the only one that indulges him in his sexual needs instead of just taking it out of wifely duty. Besides a couple of bloody shirts (which, ew) there's not a thing in the whole movie to hint at anything deeper than two guys who like the man love. So yeah, didn’t like it at all.

At least I got to see Ella's boobs...

Monday, February 27, 2006

I actually have things to post about (for instance, I finally saw Brokeback Mountain friday night and then Dave Chappelle saturday), but instead here's a meme from Gunslingers until I feel like doing something substantial.

Please answer the following questions:
1) What is the worst DVD/video you own? Everyone has one. On the stack of videos there's always one that you got because it was on sale and you planned on renting it anyway, or you got it as a gift, or something. And there it sits. Staring back at you. When friends or acquaintances come over and naturally see what movies you have, you consider it like a puss-filled cold sore, hoping others ignore it but admitting that it's too blatantly obvious, especially considering your own awesome awesome taste in movies. Spousally owned movies do not count (Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde would win in a landslide, but that was the Lady's before marriage and remains hers alone now).

Freejack. It was $4.99 at Best Buy and I vaguely recalled liking it in middle school, but as it turns out it SUCKS.

2) What is the worst concert you've ever seen in person? This is a more open-ended question. It can be a terrible artist that you ended up seeing for some reason (work, a friend had free tickets, you were assigned to write a review). It can be a favorite (or would-be favorite if not for this show) artist who just sucked the o-ring out of an ass on that particular night. Have at it.

Ryan Adams, City Stages, Summer 2005. Seriously, that whole "it's great to be back at SXSW, now here's another song I wrote on the bus yesterday" got old fast.

3) What is the worst experience you've ever had at a restaurant? Another open-ended question. This can be poor service, poor food, whatever. It can be a robbery by a crackhead, foiled by quick-footed African janitors. It can be a drive through experience.

At the end of high school and most of college I was at the Waffle House nearly every night. It got to where the waitresses would put a cup of coffee waiting for me at whichever booth they wanted me when they saw me pull into the parking lot. Anyway, within a two week stretch all the good waitresses quit and the place went straight to hell. It was always filthy, you couldn't get anything resembling service, it was just awful. The next closest Waffle House was a good fifteen minute clip down the interstate and I started going to that one some, but it made going seem like a production since MY Waffle House was only five minutes away (three if I caught the lights) and I only went if I actually wanted to eat. One night a friend and I wanted to just go get coffee and we were right by MY Waffle House so we decided to just pull in there and suck it up instead of driving all the way out to the other one. We went in, got a booth and after a good little wait finally got our coffee. Two minutes later he said "we've got to get out of here" and I was like "why?" and he said "look over your shoulder." So I did. There, staring back at me, was a roach the size of a matchbox car sitting on the divider between the booth and the service stand calmly surveying our table. I haven't been back since.

Hey guys! Need a warm up?

4) What is the worst movie you've ever seen in the theatre? Self explanatory.

Dragonheart. Just awful. Corny, cliched, annoying as all hell, just awful. First time I ever seriously considered walking out of the theater.

5) What is the worst book you've actually finished? You can't say "I read a few pages and it sucked so bad I put it down..." You have to have finished the book. Fiction or non-fiction. No matter.

Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters - Michael J. Nelson. It made me imagine Nelson sitting at his desk thinking "What would Dave Barry do?"

6) Who is the worst looking or least appealing celebrity you would have intimate relations with "just to tell the story"? Assume marital or other obligations did not exist. Assume no consequences arise therefrom. Here's where we find out just how disgusting my readers are. The person must be a celebrity though - as in needs no introduction or explanation. The opposite gender is not required.

I had a mad crush on Chrissie Hynde when I was younger. She's not a lot to look at, but she's so fucking rock 'n roll.

Sadly, I'd hit it.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Actor Don Knotts Dead at 81

It's a sad day here at 1000 Movies in 1 Year. The only other time I've felt genuine sadness over a celebrity death was Phil Hartman, and just like then I really do feel a profound sense of loss. There is no telling how many countless hour I've spent over the course of my life watching Andy Griffith. It's on at least five times a day and on three different channels here and was one of those shows that my parents would let me stay up the extra half hour to watch when I was a kid. Even now if I see that it's on I'll flip over to see which episode is playing.

More dangerous with a single bullet in his pocket than any other man on Earth.