Saturday, September 10, 2005

Alabama 30, Southern Miss 21

(Hack has a less than family friendly liveblog of the game here)

The Negatives: Holy crap, I don't think I can take too many stressful games like this one, and yet, I'm sure it's going to be a long season of them. Where to start? Bama isn't going to be able to spot another team 14 points like this and get away with it again. We are not a come from behind team and getting down 21-10 against a better SEC opponent isn't something I want to think about. After the opening drive ending in a touchdown pass I was settled in to leisurely flip back and forth between this, UAB/Troy and Texas/Ohio State but as it turned out I checked the UAB score a couple of times and forgot about Texas all together. I don't care about Texas or Ohio State so missing it wasn't that big of a deal for me. I know there was a lot of hype about two top five teams facing off in the regular season, but I just can't get up for hot Big 12 on Big 10 action especially since rankings that high two weeks into the season mean exactly nothing, a lesson learned the hard way by OU last week and Iowa today. To be perfectly frank, I'd have much rather seen the Vandy/Arkansas game. How long has it been since Vandy opened their season 2-0, and how awesome would it be if they ran the SEC East? A Bama/Vandy match-up in Atlanta? Hell. Yes. But I'm rambling. Sorry. Since UAB was never in any danger against Troy I didn't even bother watching it and instead focused entirely on Bama. Other than that costly turnover by Croyle our kicking game/special teams play was the biggest black mark on the game. Southern Miss's second touchdown came off a long return of a terrible punt. Tack on a missed field goal and a missed extra point and it's looking more than rough. Maybe they should let Prothro start doing all the kicking, too. Just a thought. The defense stood up as expected, but I was a little dissapointed in the secondary's pass coverage at times. You can bet Spurrier is going to notice and hopefully Kines will have the situation rectified before next Saturday. There was also some sloppy play that killed a few drives but penalties were a bigger factor for Southern Miss. Another negative is this is the end of the series for the foreseeable future. I'm actually kind of sad about that. Southern Miss is by no means a rival on par with AU or UT (mostly because we own them), but we've played them almost every year of my life and it's kind of weird thinking about a season without them.

The Positives: Brodie Croyle can still walk, Prothro has completely redeemed himself, the timers on the sprinklers at Bryant-Denny function perfectly, and Joe Kines continues to show brilliance in his defensive strategery. To begin with, the defensive showing in the first half was better than you'd surmise from the score. The offense gave up 7 of the 21 points and another 7 came from special teams play allowing the Golden Eagles to start from their own 11 yard line. The defense only gave up 14 points the entire game and that was all in the first half. Kines made the adjustments necessary during half time to, once again, completely dominate the second half which is extra impressive since this is the second week in a row that he's had to prepare without the benefit of game tape (since USM's opener against Tulane was canceled). Seriously, the man should enter the stadium to his own theme song like a pro-wrestler since he's totally carrying this team right now. May I make a suggestion? I was also glad to see the passing game open up a little more, but the O-line is still shaky and pass protection for Croyle is seriously key to our success. I have a little more faith in Wilson stepping in for Croyle than I did in Guillon or Pennington but I'd rather not have that faith put to the test. Overall, once I settled down at the start of the second half I was pleased with the progress since last week.

I'm a little antsy about going on the road to face Spurrier next week, but since we'll actually have something to prepare by Kines should be able to take the SC offense apart. The biggest question mark is still our offense, but Georgia pulled it out by grinding away with the running game and isn't that really what Alabama does best?


714) Tequila Sunrise. Was this one of Mel's first US movies? Cause he kept slipping back into his Australian accent the whole time and it was really weird.

715) Lust for Gold. Eh, decent enough.

716) Veronica Guerin. Joel Schumacher can make good movies, it's just sometimes he chooses not to. Plus, the Blanchett. Even with the butch haircut I'd crawl over broken glass for her.

716 down, 284 to go.

Friday, September 09, 2005


711) Heavyweights. Remember when Comedy Central did that roast of Jerry Stiller? And remember when that guy said all that mean stuff about him? And then remember when he was all "No wonder your son turned out gay!"? Remember that? Cause that was kinda funny.

712) White Chicks.'

713) Benny & Joon. I enjoyed this more than I figured I would, mostly because Depp's Keaton/Chaplin schtick was such a refreshing reminder of the sheer power of refined physical comedy. The first time I saw Chaplin I couldn't believe how funny it was, and it didn't even have words. Body language and reaction are so crucial to comedy but they never really get their due and it was nice to see those old routines getting a little spotlight.

713 down, 287 to go.

You know what, I've had it. I'm breaking the silence. Everyone that knows me knows that I'm a staunch conservative. I voted for Bush twice and have supported him whole heartedly...until now. When is this jackass and his chimp cronies at FEMA going to stop twiddling their thumbs and pretending nothing is wrong when the blizzard raging inside Lindsay Lohan's nose continues unabated?!?!? LOOK AT HER! Do you not see the devastation?! Don't you hear my heart breaking as the woman I love implodes before my very EYES?! GEORGE BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT WEIRDLY OBSESSIVE SOUTHERN WHITE PEOPLE! If he was really a "compassionate" conservative he'd federalize relief efforts and send federal marshalls to throw her ass in rehab, stopping at Arby's on the way cause bitch needs a sandwich NOW!!!!! I'm disgusted, really I am.

Thursday, September 08, 2005


708) How to Deal. This was way too depressing. Families falling apart, kids dying, Mandy's best friend finding out she's knocked up AFTER her boyfriend DIES, Mandy falling in love with said boyfriend's best friend that is clearly closet gay and in love with him, the perpetually unwashed state of Mandy's's all too much. And for real, did wardrobe and make-up just not budget for shampoo? And if so, couldn't Mandy afford it on her own or is she just that cheap?

709) Foreign Correspondent. Yep. Any organization with "peace" or allusions to it in it's title is bound to be up to no good.

710) Varsity Blues. Maybe if someone had told me about Ali Larter and the whip cream bikini I would have watched this a long time ago. I have to get better friends.

710 down, 290 to go.

Break out the tiny violins folks. I was up til 3 so not much luck on the sleep front. THEN I woke up this morning and my knee was swollen like Sean Penn's head, but instead of a general, all over, grape fruit shaping like usual it was just swollen out on the left side where all the scar tissue was removed and it was in one straight line where the scope had been and it was really freaky. And then I started walking and it felt like when you have a really nasty scab and your skin gets pulled away from it and you think your skin is tearing, but on the inside. For real, how do all these football players have this done and are back on the practice field in two weeks? I'm sure access to the top athletic trainers in the country is a part of that, but I'm doing all the exercises my doctor is telling me to do, should this really be so rough? Granted, my last surgery wasn't as serious as this one, but I was back at work in a week and doing fine. Now after two days of regular routine I'm cripple again. This sucks.

That Obscure Object of Desire

Success...and then let down. So last night I got a couple of good stretches in and thought I was back in the saddle, so to speak, but no more! I'm blaming Sarah for this one. I watched The 39 Steps and had to rewind the last eight minutes of it SIX times because I kept dozing off and at one point I even turned the TV off, content to just sleep, but instead I pulled myself out of slumber and finished it off and started in on Life is Beautiful. Sarah wanted to come over and watch some more Once and Again so we watched an episode and then I was all "that's all you get" and she's all "but I don't want to watch your weird Italian movie, let's watch one more" but I refused so instead she watched another one in my room while I watched Life is Beautiful in the living room. And then she came out, having bawled throughout the entire episode, so naturally I had to watch it after Life is Beautiful and now it's 12:45 and I'm not even tired.

Further, I went back to work yesterday and got through the day pretty well. The knee itself is tight but the muscles are still weak and it will probably be a few more weeks before I've gotten them back to pre-surgery condition so I was sore and achy when I got home but it wasn't anything too terrible. And then today I pushed too hard and was too stubborn to quit and kept on going and I'm paying for it now. At one point this afternoon I could have sworn tiny little ax-wielding Itchys had invaded my blood and were hacking away at the interior of my knee. Like, it really felt like something was trying to cut it's way out through the knee cap. It sucked. My next doctor's appointment isn't until the 26th when they'll do x-rays and make sure everything is still straight in there so I've got to keep pushing and doing the exercises and getting back to normal lest they decide to cut again.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


706) The 39 Steps. Now this looks like the Hitchcock I know and love. The British crew still isn't quite up to the standards set by his later Hollywood ones, but they got it done and got it done well.

707) Life is Beautiful. I don't know if this is the funniest sad movie ever or the saddest funny movie ever.

707 down, 293 to go.

Playing for UT, Manning grew accustomed to dealing with felons...

Who else wants to see this turn ugly? Just me?


The other night I was talking with Tim and he wanted to know how the movie count was going (I think I was around 650 at the time) and he was really impressed and all "So you're really going to make it? That's incredible." Turns out he really didn't have any faith that I would make it this far or actually be able to accomplish the goal and so we got to talking about how I was going to deal with football season and how that would affect my time with movies and I told him I was planning on only watching Alabama and Steelers games (yeah, that's really turned out well) and he was like "Who?" and I said "Alabama and The Steelers" and he was all "The STEELERS?" and I was like "yeah..." and he was all "The crap, dude?" so I had to explain to him why I'm a Steelers fan and it was really the first time I'd ever thought about it. I'll cop to not being the most loyal of NFL fans. Alabama is a constant. I've been a Bama fan ever since I knew what football is and I'll root for the Crimson Tide until the day I die. I've also become a UAB fan recently. I've lived my whole life in Birmingham, enjoyed Blazer basketball since I was a kid, and graduated from there. They've put together a decent football program and Hackney is one of the funnest QBs to watch out there so they have my support and loyalty and I'll pull for them anytime they play. But if Bama and UAB were to ever play? Then my loyalty would be with The Tide. Being an Alabama fan is part of the core fiber of my being, getting a degree from UAB is just something I've done. As for the NFL, there isn't really a team that's so significant to my identity like Alabama. For a while as a kid I was a Cowboys fan because my Grandfather loved Dallas. My grandparents lived there for awhile when my mother was a kid before moving back to Alabama and both Bama and Dallas were his two major passions in life. But I never really cared about Dallas. Hell, I never even watched pro-football. I just knew that Big Daddy was a Cowboys fan and so was I. And then one day, during a visit from my grandparents, he and Dad were watching them and I came and watched too and while they rooted for Dallas I secretly pulled for the other team because I had never seen anything like it. All the pro teams I knew of had fanciful names like Cowboys and Jets and Dolphins and Falcons and wore bright uniforms and they had superstar pretty boy quarterbacks with good looking wives and they just seemed like a bunch of grown ups playing a game, and suddenly there were these big guys in Black and Gold and they were called Steelers and they looked mean and they were scary and they hit like that was all they ever wanted to do and they ran the ball and knocked everyone out of the way instead of passing all the way down the field and they were tough and gritty and they were football. Ever since then I've called them my team, but, like I say, I'm not the most loyal NFL fan alive. There were long stretches when I didn't even watch pro-ball. I've flirted with being a Niners fan because of Joe Montana, a Chiefs fan because of Joe Montana, a Titans fan (who open against The Steelers on my birthday) because they are close and because I like Fisher, and a Falcons fan because they are close. I always watch Green Bay when they're on because I like Brett Favre, and I've even reverted to a little bit of Cowboys fandom because I like Bill Parcells. And really, I'm not even all that excited about this season. College Football in general and Alabama Football in particular is my true passion and after following the pros heavily for the past few seasons I'm starting to feel a little burned out by it again. I didn't bother with any of the pre-season games and I don't intend to watch the Pats/Raiders season opener this week. But I'll watch Sunday and I'll root for Pittsburgh against Tennessee and I'll probably start losing interest because there is a strong possibility that they've replaced one one-season wonder with another and the wild ride of last season will be just a memory and my fair weatherdom will rear it's ugly head and it will be 2008 before I watch anything other than the Super Bowl again. But whatever their fate this season or next or for the rest of my life, I'll say I'm a Steelers fan above all others and I guess that will just have to do.

Next to Spring and Winter, Fall is my absolute favorite season

There's football on my TV and a longing for trashy drama in my heart:

Sept 8 - The OC season premiere.
Sept 13 - Gilmore Girls season premiere.
Sept 25 - Desperate Housewives season premiere.

And let's not forget the comedy:

Sept 19 - Arrested Devlopment season premiere.

Sadly, I will once again be boycotting The Simpsons. It's just not funny anymore, and the sadness it brings? More than I can bear.

So that's my four stories for the season. One Tree Hill is still dropped. Not only was there just too much drama, my only real interest in the show got married so what's the point? Henceforth, keep in mind that Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday will be bad times to call, because if I even bother to answer you'll only here "name of tv show/sporting event" and a click.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

09-06-2005 Evening Edition

704) My Girl 2. Blech. The first one worked the whole awkward coming of age sweetness angle to full effect, but this one just threw the characters on the screen and then wrote Chlumsky completely different. Her male foil in this one wasn't near as effective as Caulkin either. The only thing that kept me even remotely interested was trying to figure out what else I'd seen Veda mother in.

705) Blind Date. This one had three things going for it. One, Phil Hartman. Two, Dan Fielding. Three, Kim Basinger, a woman so unbelievably beautiful that not even the greasy stain that is Alec Baldwin can taint the absolute pinnacle of physical perfection that she embodies. And trust me people, if I'm willing to overlook Alec Baldwin, my most hated of enemies, you know she's got it. But it started to suck near the end, so it's really a wash.

705 down, 295 to go.

I dozed off three times during Blind Date. I'm still tired so I hope I can go to bed and go straight to sleep. Fingers crossed.

09-06-2005 Early Edition

703) Joe Versus the Volcano. Other than Meg Ryan hamming it up in her first two characters and the idea of Abe Vegoda as the head of a south seas tribe, there isn't much of the funny going on in this one.

703 down, 297 to go.

Everything was going so well. Over the past few weeks I've managed to almost completely flip my sleep cycle from night to day. I've been going to sleep around 4 AM and waking up anywhere between Noon and 4 PM. So I've tried my best to get back into a regular pattern the past few days and made an effort to wake up early this morning (10 o'clock is early if you didn't go to sleep til after 4) and then stay awake all day without taking any naps. I managed to accomplish this for the most part and was very pleased to sit at Steve and Donna's lovely new home watching Miami/FSU display their gross lack of offense and growing sleepier and sleepier. I got back here about 9:30ish and kept awake til my usual bedtime of 11 and fell straight to sleep...only to wake up 45 minutes later feeling perfectly refreshed. So Joe Versus the Volcano gets knocked off and I'll try to get back to sleep by watching some Simpsons episodes. It's going to be a long day tomorrow.

UPDATE: So after watching three hours of the Simpsons I finally dozed off at 5ish (and right in the middle of Duffless, too) only to wake up at the end credits and then didn't go back to sleep at all. It's going to be awhile before I get back to normal. Curses.

Monday, September 05, 2005


702) My Girl. "I think it's beautiful that she wants to be a writer man." "Right on little sister!" Hippies were such douche bags.

702 down, 298 to go.

I'm just going to update here and maybe I'll watch something else later. I'm headed to Steve and Donna's new house in a little bit to do some Labor Daying and taking the rest of the day off cause I'm pretty burned out after the last two weeks.

Sunday, September 04, 2005


696) The Wrong Guy. If Dave Foley wrote it, you know it's funny.

697) Re-Animator. I must be getting soft in my old age cause the gore factor in this kind of got to me. It was still good, but at times I was actually looking away from the screen.

698) Jubal. Charles Bronson! Ernest Borgnine! And it's not The Dirty Dozen! Sweet!

699) Four Brothers. Stupid, but so so entertaining.

700) House Arrest. J. LoH was always funny looking, even as a youngster.

701) Dawg. Okay, Dennis Leary is the indie comedy exception that proves the rule. It's not that the movie itself was really funny, but Leary was capable of taking it all onto his own shoulders and making it worthwhile.

701 down, 299 to go.