The weirdest swingers group in America...
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So Much Style That It's Wasted
1. A favorite political track.
Revolution – The Beatles
“But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao, You ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow.”
I always thought this was a pretty brave song for The Beatles to release. They were certainly left of the mainstream, but they were principled enough to rebuke the outright radicals that were doing more to harm their cause than good and I can respect that.
Honorable Mention: Like a Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan
2. One of those tracks that will make you dance on the dancefloor no matter what.
Waltz Across Texas Tonight – Emmylou Harris
“Look in my eyes, hold on real tight, I’ll waltz you my darling across Texas tonight”
I think this is supposed to be one of those “favorite club banger” type of questions, but since I don’t DANCE dance, I’ll go with this one since I’ve always pictured slow dancing with someone I love to this. Because I’m sappy and stupid and a girl.
3. The song you'd use to tell someone you love them.
Not Fire, Not Ice – Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
“There’s nothing can keep me from loving you, not fire, no, not ice.”
It’s actually a really simple song, but it’s a pretty heartfelt declaration of love.
4. A song you know would sell lots of VWs (or ipods, or whatever) if they paid for it. (One that hasn't already been used).
Norwegian Wood – The Beatles
“Isn’t it good, Norwegian wood?”
You bet it is! Patented space age polymers protect your deck from warping without the use of a traditional sealants!
5. A song that forced you to sit down and analyze its lyrics.
This House is Not for Sale – Ryan Adams
“We’re still living here, how come nobody can tell?”
I’m pretty sure it’s about Beetlejuice. What happened in the car that night, indeed.
6. A song you like that a 2 year old would like too.
Ezekiel’s Wheel – Woody Guthrie
“Ezekiel saw that wheel, way up in the middle of the air, Ezekiel saw the wheel a rollin’ way in the middle of the air”
I don’t know if a 2 year old would really like it, but it has a jaunty rhythm, simple melody, and repetitive lyrics. You know that “Take me riding in the car, car, take me riding in the car, car” talking blues car commercial? It sounds like that.
7. A song that makes you drive too fast.
A Praise Chorus – Jimmy Eat World
“I’m on my feet, I’m on the floor, I’m good to go.”
There’s nothing lyrically that makes me drive fast, but it has a really driving (ha!) rhythm that makes me forget how fast I’m going when it’s on.
8. A song that makes you feel like kicking someone's ass.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy – Big & Rich
“Riding up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy.”
I have a very complicated relationship with this song. It sucks, I know that, but when it first came out I thought it was hilarious and always wished they sang “And all the hookers say, save a horse…” to make it even funnier. But then it just kept getting played over and over and over and both Big AND Rich are such idiotic parodies that I really want to kick THEIR asses anytime I realize they are famous while I’m not because I’m a pretty idiotic parody at times myself and no one’s paying me a load of money to start a “revolution” in country music. So yeah, Big and Rich, come to the Ham and see what you get.
In post-Brokeback America, dressing like this and riding studs named Leroy have totally different meanings.
9. A song that both you and your grandparents (would probably) like.
When the Roll is Called Up Yonder – Johnny Cash
“Let us labor for the Master from dawn ‘til setting sun, Let us talk of all his wondrous love and care.”
My grandparents were good Christian folk, I’m sure they would have liked this.
10. A song you really liked when you were 14-16 that you don't hate now.
Layla (Unplugged) – Eric Clapton
“You turned my whole world upside down.”
I loved Unplugged when it came out but got kind of sick of it after listening to it about a million times. To this day I can really only listen to Layla and San Fransisco Bay Blues on it without flipping to the next song after 10 seconds.
11. The song you'd send to someone you hated.
Get in the Ring – Guns ‘n Roses
“You wanna antagonize me? Antogonize me, motherfucker! Get in the ring motherfucker and I’ll kick your bitchy little ass…Punk.”
The world just isn’t right without Axl Rose making threats he could never, ever back up.
12. A sad instrumental song that would be in the soundtrack to a movie about your life.
My Funny Valentine – Miles Davis
This one was kind of hard, all of the instrumentals I have are jazz recordings and I can’t think of anything I have that isn’t upbeat. This wasn’t originally an instrumental, but Davis’s version has no vocalist so I guess it counts.
13. The peppy song that would start the opening credits in the soundtrack to a movie about your life.
Bang a Gong (Get it On) – T. Rex
“You’re dirty, you’re sweet, you’ve got a hubcap diamond star halo.”
I always imagined that slow blues riff over opening credits against a black field and then when the rest of the band comes in the visuals start.
14. An a cappella song.
John the Revelator – Son House
“Go tell my disciples, Meet me in Galilee.”
I had to go with Son House since the Gov’t Mule version has a mandolin and slide guitar.
15. A good song from a genre of music that no one could guess that you liked.
Master of Puppets – Metallica
“Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams.”
This one was hard, too, since everyone knows I like a lot of different types of music and will pretty much listen to anything, but I don’t really care for metal so Master of Puppets it is.
16. A song you think should have been playing when you were born.
Mamas Don’t Let Your Babys Grow Up to be Cowboys – Willie Nelson
“They’ll never stay home and they’re always alone, even with someone they love.”
It’s true, I like little warm puppies, children, and girls of the night.
17. A favorite artist duo collaboration.
Islands in the Stream – Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers
“You do something to me that I can’t explain.”
Don’t even try to judge, you know you love that song.
18. A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally, commonsenically, religiously etc.)
Ain’t No Fun (If My Homies Can’t Have None) – Snoop Dogg
“Back up bitch, because I’m struuuuglin’, just get on your knees, and then start juuuuglin’…”
So disgusting, so hilarious, such an influence on the 7th Floor Crew.
19. The song that you love despite the fact your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it.
Get Low – Lil’ Jon and the Eastside Boyz
“Aw skeet skeet, motherfucker.”
I can’t help it, it’s hilarious.
20. Your smooth song, for relaxing.
Straight, No Chaser – Thelonious Monk
That whole album is a good one to kick back to.
21. A song that you like but would play loud to annoy the neighbors.
Bulls on Parade – Rage Against the Machine
“Go with it now!”
There’s not other way to listen to Rage than at full blast, and I know the little old lady downstairs would probably hate this song.
22. A favorite song that's about a sport or sports.
Southern Comfort – Buddy Jewell
“Sleepy sweet home, Alabama, Roll Tide Roll.”
Not really about sports, but I always liked hearing Roll Tide Roll on the radio.
23. A favorite track from an outfit considered a "super-group."
Presence of the Lord – Blind Faith
“I have finally found a way to live, like I never could before.”
I think maybe they meant “super-group” in the sense of someone huge like U2, but I’ll go with the “a group comprised of members from several other major bands” definition.
24. The song that makes you want to drink more beer.
I Never Go Around Mirrors – Lefty Frizell
“I can’t stand to see me, without you by my side.”
One of the saddest country songs ever written. Merle does a fantastic version, too.
The days of Airplane!, where the genre and it's conventions are satired and individual characters are created and allowed to form their own identity within that framework, are gone. Now the humor comes (or at least is supposed to come) from our recollection of a specific scene, and characters are simply amalgamations instead of achetypes. For today's parody movie to be funny, two things have to occur: 1) The audience has to be familiar with the movies it's making fun of, and 2) it has to have a cast that's funny enough to transcend a level of humor that barely rises above the standard middle school fart joke. Sadly, I was aware of all the girly date movies this was satiring, so you can take that for what it's worth. The cast, though, with a few exceptions, was up to the challenge. Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge, in particular, took what lesser actors would have done, simply imitating Dustin Hoffman and Streisand's roles in Meet the Fockers, and went so over the top that they stole the whole movie. So if you like the Hot Shots and Scary Movies of the world, you'll find a lot to like in this. Otherwise, save your money.