Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I'll cop to being a fan of Underworld. It had it's share of problems: The vampire heroes don't attack humans, only Lycans, to make it clearer who we are rooting for, the convoluted history and "betrayal" aspects of the plot, the lame Romeo and Juliet relationship between Beckinsale and Speedman, and etc. But when it comes down to it, I like a good action picture and Underworld was one of them. The chicks are hot, the cars are fast, and the gunplay is plentiful. Which brings me to a truth about action sequels: bigger and more is the only way it will work. Look at Alien and Aliens, Terminator and T2, Anaconda and Anacondas. All of those sequels worked because the filmmakers understood what was appealing about the original and then made movies that built on that formula. The mistake Evolution makes is that it takes characters from a somewhat complex tale with numerous characters and subplots, and then gives us a very basic chase movie with only four real leads. To put it another way, they assumed Kate Beckinsale in tight leather was the only reason people saw Underworld, so they got her (nearly) naked in this to bring the viewers back. And as much as I thought I'd never say such a thing, it wasn't enough. There were a few attempts to add exposition to the tale, but they weren't completely developed, and resorting to the biggest action movie cliche out there (I'll give you a hint: he's not really dead) and then resorting to a forced "dramatic yet hopeful denoument" ending only served to drive the last nail into the coffin. So stay away, unless you really really like Kate Beckinsale.
You know things suck when you start likening your life to a George Jones song. I haven't been able to listen to music this week, I've just been listening to the local sports talk station, which, A) I'm finally and completely one of those guys and B) Roll Tide. But it's really just one of those cases where, like the man said, you know you're in love when every song that comes on the radio reminds you of her. And sadly that's been the case. So it made me think of that first line "Imagine a world where no music was playing" and it really gave that song a whole new meaning.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Over the weekend my personal life fell completely apart. I promised I wouldn't give details, and even though it probably doesn't matter anymore, I do keep my promises. Hopefully things will be funny again soon.