07-08-2005

505) Dark Water. For a remake of a trendy Japanese horror flick this one turned out pretty well. I'm on record saying that The Ring movies and The Grudge weren't all that great (not bad, but eh), but I liked this one. Not a lot of scary, but a lot of creepy and the solution didn't seem a little silly like the others. Just a good old fashioned ghost/haunted house story. Plus, the Connelly. Hot.

505 down, 495 to go.

I went to Lee's to cook out with the understanding that I would be borrowing his TV for much of the time and watching Coach Carter, except that it never really happened. But hey, a good time was had by all. I'm working for a few hours in the morning to finish up a few loose ends with the move and then that's it, we are totally out of the old building, no more working Saturdays (at least not most Saturdays). Hallelujah.

In other news, Donny Deutsch and Ron Zook are ONE AND THE SAME. DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!!

07-07-2005

503) The Basketball Diaries. Two things: First, I'm of the opinion that Requiem for a Dream should be shown to every fifth grader in the country to scare the little bastards straight, but maybe they should make it a double feature with this just to be certain. Second, that whole "look at me, I'm all clean and helping others" ending was total bullshit. In Bockris's biography of Keef Richards Carroll recounts doing a few lines and some methadone with Keef before he was to sit in with Carroll's band and how it was the best coke he'd ever seen. Don't think I'm illiterate because I'd rather watch TV.

504) Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Stupid as all hell, but Mirren was absolutely malevolent as the teacher. How did she get sucked into this?

504 down, 496 to go.

Really? Cause I've seen the trailer about a billion times and that never once occured to me. Even now I'm not seeing it.

I accidentally typed 1001movies.blogspot.com into my browser a minute ago and had a total "BITCH, IT IS ON" moment until I realized they are watching 1001 movies before they die, not in a year. Close one. Cause I so would have wiped the proverbial floor with their asses. No one watches TV like me bitches, NO ONE!

I knew ancient Athens was down with the man love...

...but EDSBS.com let's us in on UGA's unsavory recruiting process with Two More Georgia Recruits Go Down. J/K, it's not like that, but what an unfortunate title for a post. In other news, I did finish Don't Say a Word (#502) last night. Is there something terribly wrong with me for finding a bitchcakes crazy Brittany Murphy hotter than her usual self?

07-06-2005

500) Anaconda. Why was J. Lo scared? That snake was pretty big, but there was no way it was going to get around her ass.

It's all downhill from here...

501) Gods and Monsters. Fraser is no De Niro by any stretch of the imagination, but the man can act if he needs to, unlike, say, Gwyneth Paltrow. So why is he stuck in tepid comedies while she CONTINUES to get dramatic roles?

501 down, 499 to go.

I'm starting in on Don't Say a Word as I go to bed, but I don't know if I'll finish it tonight. It's been a weird day. I woke up this morning and my knee was so stiff I could harldy move and putting weight on it was murder so I shotgunned a load of Advil and iced up for an hour before going to work. Naturally our manual printer didn't show up until ten and our automatic printer never showed at all so I was printing all day. Which is the worst thing possible since I shift all my weight onto the bad (well, worst) knee as I print. So I left about ten minutes early to get ahead of the traffic and came home to my old friend the ice pack and Anaconda and wound up dozing on the couch for awhile. Usually this means I'll be up half the night but I'm feeling quite worn out and I suspect I'll fall asleep as soon as I get comfortable.

07-05-2005

498) Above the Rim. Who would have thought finding Tupac's killer would be as easy as renting from Blockbuster. It was Marlon Wayans! I saw him do it! Someone has to get this video to the police.

499) Purple Rain. Holy crap. I was almost prepared to declare this my new favorite movie within the first ten minutes, and then Jerome threw that bitch in the dumpster and I was SOLD baby! BEST. MOVIE. EVER.

499 down, 501 to go.

07-04-2005

495) Double Trouble. There's no better way to celebrate America's independence than sending Elvis to England to conquer their underaged girls!

496) Happy, Texas. Kind of predictable, but Zahn and Macy are so funny that it all works pretty well.

497) For Richer or Poorer. There is no call for a fish out of water/odd couple comedy to go on for more than 90 minutes. I'm looking at you Bryan Spicer.

497 down, 503 to go.

I had big designs on cracking 500 today, but I slept later than I wanted and hung out with Van for awhile as we searched the greater metropolitan area for a copy of Purple Rain. Apparently it sells so poorly that the Wal-Mart on 150 sent all their copies back. Capped the day off with hamburgers at Nancy's and now I'm headed to le bed. Happy 4th.

07-03-2005

489) The Fastest Gun Alive. A couple of westerns is all I really needed to save me from the burn out. I don't know why I didn't think of that before.

490) Escape From Fort Bravo. Now that's southern ingenuity! Get a hot chick to come and turn the warden's head around and escape under his nose. Brilliant! Plus, she was pretty damn hot, if I were Holden I would have fallen for it too.

491) American Gun. Pretty decent until the pointless twist ending when it all turned into crap.

492) All the Pretty Horses. I just don't see how you can even attempt to make a movie based on a McCarthy book. This one would probably be the easiest, but it's still too thick for a two hour movie. Too much was lost in the middle, plus McCarthy's writing style is so distinct that it's really the reason his books are so interesting. You just can't translate that kind of stark feel to a visual medium.

493) The Fast and the Furious. So they completely total the only real muscle car in a sea of ridiculous rice burners AND he let's the bad guys get away? HATE.

494) Antitrust. Claire Forlani couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag, but she's so hot AND I think we all know my feelings on Rachael Leigh Cook, the cutest actress ever. Other than that, HATE.

494 down, 506 to go.

07-02-2005

486) The In Crowd. That has to be the lamest "in crowd" ever. I imagine a group of writers that weren't good enough for soap operas banded together to write their great masterpiece and turned out this garbage. That Brittany chick was pretty hot though...

487) Die Hard With a Vengeance. Okay, this is probably my favorite of the three even if it did start to drag at the end.

488) Affliction. Dude, Coburn is one crazy old bastard. Rather abrupt ending, but well acted and intriguing.

488 down, 512 to go.