Friday, July 07, 2006

In part six of the ten part "Celebrity Ass I'm Reasonably Certain I Could Kick" series, we have Gregg Allman. An original member of the Allman Brothers Band, Gregg is best known as guitarist Duane's bratty little brother, the idiot that married Cher after she and Sonny broke up, and the reason Dickey Betts (another founding member) is no longer a part of the band. Were Duane still alive or he and Dickey still on speaking terms, there is no way I would touch a strand of Gregg's girlish blonde hair for fear of their surely swift and viscious reprisal. But with Duane gone, Dickey probably feeling the exact same way, and the two other remaining founding members either hobbled by chronic back pain (Jaimoe) or wishing he could form his own band and get the hell out like Dickey (Butch Trucks), I'm pretty sure I could kick his ass.

That pony tail does nothing to hide his man boobs...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Some randomness:

- When I was in the shower this morning I decided that my day wouldn't be complete without listening to It Still Moves, something that happens about once a month. Something else that also happens about once a month: I realize that the only reason I like My Morning Jacket is because their live show is so awesome and really wish they had a good live album.

- On the way home from work, I saw a damn good OOC schedule's worth of alumni/bumper stickers, including Wisconsin, Clemson, and Va. Tech.

- Does it make me a girl that the first thing I thought upon seeing the Clemson sticker was "there is no WAY I would ever coach at Clemson, those uniforms are UUUUGLY!"?

- The NFL pre-season is only five weeks away! Sweet, inconsequential NFL action to tide me over 'til the start of the college season!

- The McWane Center is supposed to be showing Superman Returns in it's IMAX theater next month. Or at least I think it is. I seem to recall reading that somewhere. So if it does, that should be awesome.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Every now and again I start thinking, "would dhimmitude really be so bad?" And then I read this:

Radical Islamic militia fighters in Somalia shot and killed two people who were watching a banned World Cup soccer broadcast, a radio station reported Wednesday.

Hard-line Muslim fighters, who wrested control of the Somali capital from warlords in June, have forbidden people from watching television or movies in line with their strict interpretation of Islam.

If that's not a reason to defeat the terrorists, I don't know what is.

They can have my TV when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

You know how the audience on Emeril always goes completely bitchcakes crazy whenever he "surprises" them with a random ingredient? I long for the day when I can make out some dude totally screaming profanity at the choice, cause you know there is a guy in the audience all "HOLY SHIT! THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY HE'S PUTTING THAT IN THERE! NO FUC....OOOOOH! HE DID! HE DID! HE SO FUCKING DID! EMERIL, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD! I'M GONNA READ YOUR BOOK!" I'm telling you people, if you want entertainment, cooking shows and HGTV are where it is at.
So Cindy Sheehan and three other activists are going on a hunger strike to protest the Iraq War. Their idiotic, self important reason for choosing this method of protest?

"Now it is time to bring the pain and suffering of war home. We are putting our bodies on the line for peace."

Because seeing these assholes really really wanting a cheeseburger is going to illustrate to us the pain of losing a loved one to war. But wait, it gets better:

Other supporters, including Penn, Sarandon, novelist Alice Walker and actor Danny Glover will join a 'rolling" fast, a relay in which 2,700 activists pledge to refuse food for at least 24 hours, and then hand over to a comrade.

How stupid do you have to be to think that not eating for a day means you've done something to help the cause of peace? If these "activists" really want to bring attention to their cause and make some sort of headway then maybe they should come up with something that isn't going to make them look so damn foolish.

Monday, July 03, 2006

I found this picture while looking for the Wannstedt one and it's just too funny not to post:

The good folks at the University of Pittsburgh have concluded a study which investigated the effects of "zoning out" while reading. Their findings:

The readers who zoned out most tended to do the worst on tests of reading comprehension — a significant, if not surprising, result. The study also suggested that zoning out caused the poor test results, as opposed to other possible factors, such as the complexity of the text or the task.

There is also, apparently, another study going on at Pitt dealing with the effects of zoning out while coaching...

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Nacho Libre

Star Jack Black and co-writer Mike White (it just struck me that they are Black and White) are the guys responsible for the so funny you forget they're really just sweet kid's movies School of Rock and Orange County, but in this Napolean Dynamite director Jared Hess is in full control. Much like that "no story to speak of, but by God it's hilarious" gem, Nacho Libre is very short on actual story or plotline. Black is a friar in a small orphanage in Mexico, stuck in the kitchen with no money for fresh food and constantly dreaming of something greater. He takes up lucha libre after seeing a luchador being treated like royalty in town and uses the money he makes to buy better food for the kids. That's about it. But for nearly two hours, the cast of walking sight gags (his partner, a filthy vagrant, repeatedly has clumps of hair ripped from his scalp in the ring, and after the first such incident looks in the mirror and exclaims in all seriousness "I'm hideous!") led by Black were enough to keep me entertained. It's a simple movie, just like Dynamite, and now a day later I don't remember a whole lot about it (The Girl and I sat trying to remember what it was that cracked us up so much for several minutes earlier tonight), but that's really it's beauty and why, just like Dynamite, I'll be able to watch it twenty more times and still find a new favorite part each time.