Friday, May 06, 2005


345) House of Wax. Today is Sarah's birthday, so I went with her and Charity to eat and we went to see this. Elisha Cuthbert jiggled around in a white wife beater for awhile, and a good time was had by all.

345 down, 655 to go.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Cinco De Mayo (as the neighbors would say)

344) Earth vs. the Flying Saucers. Was this silly? Yes. Did I look for Mike and the 'bots in the bottom corner from time to time? Yes. Was it fun to watch? Yes. So Joan Taylor is smoking hot. For those of you who might actually bother to click on the link to this movie and then click on Joan Taylor you will see that she also starred in a movie called Girls in Prison, which I totally have to see. If I can find it I'm pretty sure it will become my new favorite OF ALL TIME. And of course, being the nice guy that I am, I decided I'd go ahead and provide links to everything I just talked about. If you don't bother to click on them, don't bug me about it. I can only do so much. I'm pretty sure I'm just one man (though I'll have to get back to you on that).

344 down, 656 to go.

Magnificent Ambersons Update:
I've been thinking about it all day and I thought it would be funny if someone were to take the film and CGI in a "WWOD?" bracelet on Joseph Cotten's wrist. That would be awesome.

I've been informed that last week's episode was pre-empted by the President's press conference and that what I was watching wasn't actually The OC, which explains a whole lot.
So I was really relieved when they showed last week's episode tonight. I was kind of mad and vowed never to vote for Bush again for interrupting my stories, but since things have now been set right by the good people at Fox (after all, they are the fascist mouth piece of the GOP) I've decided that if GW were to move to Homewood and run for mayor in some sort of Mooseportian twist he could count on my support. Anyway, HOLY CRAP DUDE!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK??!?!?!?!?!? Okay, so I was actually starting to lose interest in the show and thinking about not watching it anymore, but after tonight I might quit watching just because I can't take this crap! I didn't like Trey from the start and I knew he was going to be trouble, but attacking Marisa?! Kirsten turning to the bottle AND getting hit by a garbage truck?! Jess being totally smoking hot but I can't love her because she's a coked up slut?! When I actually found Marisa attractive for like three seconds?! Actually, on that one I can't say that I have never found her attractive because Mischa is actually very pretty when not subject to the terrible whims of The OC's costuming department (a la the latest cover of Glamour. I am so gay for knowing that.), but Marisa is usually so annoying that I hate her, but the last few weeks she's started seeming kind of normal and it's made me like her and that's totally pissing me off too because you just can't toy with my TV related emotions like this! It's not like I have normal social interactions over here, TV is my only reality! I'm so going to quit watching everything but old Beverly Hillbillies reruns, back when they knew how to make TV.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


342) Scarface. First off, I have seen the Scarface you are thinking about Donna. This is the 1930s Howard Hughes production. It's pretty much true that all guys have seen the De Palma/Pacino remake, and as such it's hard to comment on this one without comparing. I've always said that remakes are usually a waste because most movies that get remade are already good and only movies that were decent but could have been great should be remade. That's kind of the way I feel about this. I've made no bones about my feelings for the De Palma Scarface. I've always thought it was just okay, and when I tell people I don't really like it I get the look usually reserved for people who say they've never seen Star Wars. But after seeing the original I'm a little more appreciative. It seems like De Palma did what I've always wanted in a remake and took a decent movie and made it better. Both pretty well share the same plot, but there was so much more detail put into the remake and the script and acting are far better. I will say that it was great to see Hawk's directing and to see where a lot of the grammar of the visual language of gangster/crime movies that followed for years came from, but Hawks wasn't quite up to the challenge of dealing with actors just yet. Muni played Tony with a certain weird comedy, more Tony Soprano than Tony Montana, and a lot of his delivery was so over the top it was laughable. Most everyone else was either wooden or over the top, too. Still, it was an interesting watch simply for the signifigance it holds in film history.

343) The Magnificent Ambersons. TMC was running a bunch of Orson Welles movies tonight and this is the only one I hadn't seen. It seemed like weird subject matter for Welles since it was basically a costumed soap opera. I was pretty bored by it until about an hour in, and I suspect Orson's directions to Joseph Cotten consisted of "Now do it like I would" and "No, no, no! Act like ME!" because the whole time he seemed to be doing an impression of Welles. Whatever.

343 down, 657 to go.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


Yeah, I worked 'til 7 and was in no mood for watching movies. Gilmore Girls was okay, but I continue to lose interest. I have a feeling things will go badly for Rory and Logan and, much to the surprise and chagrin of the viewer, it will be Rory's doings that cause the problems. I'm going to start Scarface, but I doubt it will be finished tonight. In further news, TLAL went from smoking hot to adorable today. Why isn't she my wife?

Monday, May 02, 2005


340) D.O.A. One more from the film noir list. This is probably the best one I've seen this year.

341) La Notte. So I get the point that the movie is supposed to be boring and detached, but come on. I liked L'Avventura and Blow Up a lot and they both dealt with a lot of the same themes, but they were both portraits of characters and lives presented to the viewer while I got the feeling that in this picture Antonioni expected us to actually take part in the story's ennui and share in the detachment of the characters. Which I totally don't get because no one goes to the movies to be bored, people watch movies so that they won't be. I will say this though, Italian women sure know how to walk.

341 down, 639 to go.

Sunday, May 01, 2005


336) Man of the West. And then a special bonus western! There were shades of Peckinpah in this, all "manhood comes from the control and judicious use of the violence inside all men." A little too talky at times, but still worth it. It's a western, after all.

337) Alfie. I'm pretty sure I'll never see the Jude Law remake, but just in case I get desperate I figured I'd watch the original first. I wasn't really sure what to make of it until I had thought about it for awhile. On the one hand you have Caine as the lovable rogue and it's all very witty and charming, but then they take the bold step of showing the consequences of such a life in a way that isn't at all sympathetic and shows the kind of moral character (or more appropriately the lack thereof) necessary to lead such an existence. I was also struck by how easy it would have been to turn it into an Antonioni like exploration of motivation and the soul. He probably would have made it all about the "isolation" of Alfie's life despite his sexual adventurism and how that loneliness is both the cause and result of his behavior, but instead it turns out as more of a cautionary tale ending with Alfie's knowledge that he needs to change to be happy but leaving us wondering if he can or will. Overall I think it was worth watching. Maybe I'll see the Jude Law one after all.

338) A Cinderella Story. Can't get enough of that Hillary Duff...

339) House of Sand and Fog. And the moral of the story? Taxation and the bloated governmental bureaucracy it supports not only ruins lives, it kills!

339 down, 661 to go.

So is Scientology really just a great way to scam hot chicks? I mean, Nicole Kidman is more beautiful than any woman has a right to be, Penelope Cruz is totally gorgeous, and even though Holmes isn't exactly my cup of tea I can see how so many others would consider her hot, so how is it that they are all getting mixed up with this crazy cult and it's most famous proponent?! Do they teach you some sort of crazy hot chick hypnotizing secret there? Cause if they do then pass the Dianetics and Lindsay Lohan's shooting schedule...


332) Along Came Jones. The western-comedy has to be the greatest genre ever.

333) Ride the Pink Horse. Despite the silly title, this was a pretty tough noir picture. Montgomery did an excellent job behind the camera. Plus, one more off the list.

334) Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I've been so excited about this. I bought a gigantic volume of all the books when I was maybe ten at a B. Dalton in New Orleans for like 5 bucks, and it sat on my shelf until my senior year of high school when I decided I'd rather read it than pay attention in English class. All the Homewood kids who had Bolla should know just how easy that was. She would call on me and I'd keep reminding her I wasn't reading what the class was reading and she's always be like "Oh, that's right! How's your book?" and I'd always say "It's pretty good so far" and she's be all "Well I'll try to remember not to interupt!" and go on with class. Of course, this is also the class where I walked in, threw my bookbag in the middle of the classroom floor, and used it for a pillow as I slept through the entire hour, periodically waking to look at the clock and see how much longer I had. Those were the days. Anyway, I was pretty disappointed with the film version. There was a lot left out (like why a towel is so important, which is major) that I'm sure had people who hadn't read the book confused as hell, and a lot of the subtle humor of the text just doesn't translate to a movie so it wound up not being nearly as funny. Plus, Rockwell took Zaphod from a Groucho Marxian brilliance to an annoying used car salesman schtick and Mos Def just kind of stood around and said things on cue as opposed to acting like Ford. Freeman was okay I guess and Zooey whatever her last name is was definetely a great choice for Trillian, but other than that there isn't a lot of positive things I can say. I'm very upset...

335) The Last Boy Scout. After the Hitchhiker's let down it was nice to relax with some good old fashioned mind numbingly bad violence.

335 down, 665 to go.