Saturday, August 13, 2005


609) Our Man Flint. Forget the robot wife, I want Pleasure Unit 704 for my birthday.

610) Man in the Saddle. I don't want to spoil the ending for you, but I was just so happy when the Mexican cook finally got a new hat...

611) Throne of Blood. Best title ever award nominee. Throne of Blood... Bloooood.... BLOOOOOOOOOD!!!!

612) Boat Trip. Vulgar. Disgusting. Painfully unfunny. HATE.

613) The Prince and Me. Cutesy but tolerable. Good date movie. You know, if I were to actually go on a date.

613 down, 387 to go.

5 days til surgery. Fingers crossed for sexy nurses.

20 days til Bama (and UAB) football. Fingers crossed for a stunning, big play after big play, fourth quarter come from behind rally by the Blazers to upset UT with scores of highlights on Sportscenter and a national shaming of the Vols and that Bama's entire starting backfield manages to stay upright against the opening cream puff (cause only Castille had the decency to get hurt against a good opponent last year).

28 shopping days til my birthday. Fingers crossed for Pleasure Unit 704.

Friday, August 12, 2005


607) Terror Trail. "I ain't taking orders from no sheep loving masked outlaw." A motto is born.

608) Bandits. I don't remember anything about what was said about this when it came out, but I liked it. Cate Blanchett (eyes like sparks, and my heart like gasoline) was absolutely gorgeous in this. She should have red hair at all times. And Thornton's weird phobias ("I'm actually afraid of Charles Laughton") was hilarious. Beavers! Ducks! I'm going to buy it.

608 down, 392 to go.

Some days til surgery, Bama (and UAB) football, and my birthday. Too tired to care.

Youthful Remembrance Update

Does anybody else remember Charlie from Empty Nest? Wasn't that his name? Charlie? Man, that guy was awesome. I think there was a dog on the show, too, but I forget.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


605) The Bad Sleep Well. So I bought this Kurosawa Box Set off Ebay and this was the first one out. I've always seen sets like this but I've been a little anxious to ever actually bid on them because, you know, what if it's crap? But I asked Sarah if she ever bought any "Special Asian Collector's Edition" stuff while she was over there and she said no, but that everyone else did and never had any problems with them so I decided to bite the bullet and get this one and if it worked out, I'd maybe try for something else. Cause you gotta admit, all 9 seasons of the X-Files for $20 is a pretty damn good deal. Anyway, I was a little dissapointed in this one, but only because the translation wasn't all that great. I get the feeling that they were literal translations instead of accomodating for the difference in grammar and structure between Japanese and English, so some of the conversations were kind of confusing. After about 20 minutes I kind of got the hang of it and could follow along, but there were still times when I really had no idea what they were talking about. I also kept falling asleep since I didn't sleep well last night so it took awhile to watch it. On the whole it was pretty good though. I've only seen five of the twenty four in the set so they should last me for a little while. Also, once I'm through I think there will only be three more Kurosawa's I haven't seen so I can strike him off along with Hitchcock.

606) Drunken Angel. The translation on this one was much better. Good character drama, but the doctor kept getting mad and throwing things at people and it was cracking me up.

606 down, 394 to go.

7 more days til surgery. I can't believe how miserable I've become over the last few weeks. I've had pain in my knees for a few years now but it's always been tolerable unless I've really put a strain on them, and then even then a few Advil and ice and I'm good to go again after 30 minutes. Even a few weeks ago when it got to the point I couldn't put weight on it anymore without pain it was only when I was putting pressure on it that it hurt. But now it's just miserable. It's throbbing constantly, I can't get comfortable, walking is rough, pushing up while going upstairs is murder and coming down is painful AND nerve wracking since every step I feel like it's going to go out and I'll break my neck falling down the stairs. It's just unbelievable how quickly it's deteriorated over the course of a few weeks. Seven more days, I can't freaking wait.

22 more days til Bama (and UAB) football. I've been looking it over and on paper UAB could totally whip UT. Giddy.

30 more shopping days til my birthday. Come on, robot wife...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


603) Bite the Bullet. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Jan-Michael Vincent, perpetual punchline. Was this worth watching to see him repeatedly bitch slapped by Hackman? YES.

604) Timeline. Silly. Predictable. I'm tempted to drop a "whatever" but I kind of got into it and it wasn't that bad. Still, I'll have to trust my first instinct. Whatever.

604 down, 396 to go.

8 more days til surgery. There is no comfortable way to sit or lay. I'm looking forward to a night's worth of uninterrupted, pain killer induced sleep.

23 more days til Bama (and UAB) football. Again, there is no comfortable way to sit or lay. I'm looking forward to a night's worth of uninterrupted, pain killer induced sleep.

31 more shopping days til my birthday. AGAIN, there is no comfortable way to sit or lay. I'm looking forward to a night's worth of UNINTERRUPTED, PAIN KILLER INDUCED SLEEP.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


602) Rebecca. Dude. Hitchcock.

602 down, 398 to go.

9 more days til surgery, which is 8 too many.

24 more days til Bama (and UAB) football, which is 22 to many. I would say 23 but I don't want it to start while I'm under the knife.

32 more shopping days til my birthday, which is 32 too many if some thoughtful person bought me a robot wife.

Bored At Work Update

A few random notes while I have nothing to do:

1) Not surprising. Madonna shamelessly used the image of dead Iraqi children in a music video to drum up controversy since she hasn't been relevant musically since Ray of Light and shock and scandal is all she has now. One thing that bother me though, the Stones have had no problem dumping a crap album, touring for it, releasing a live album from said tour and then touring again on the strength of the live album. So why would Mick even bother trying to drum up controversy when all he's doing is reminding the world that he hasn't written a decent song in over two decades and you really shouldn't expect anything else from him? And don't start in all "but Love Is Strong was kind of good" cause you know Keef's riff was the only redeeming part of the song and the lyrics were crap. On a more humorous note, Condi looks like she's about to eat someone's soul in that picture.

2) Dave Rader, an architect of one of the worst offenses in the history of college football, gets a contract extension AND a raise? Maybe he'll take note that Kines is taking home an extra $28,000 a year more than he is on the strength of building a bad ass defense and do the same with his offense.

3) It is now your duty as a God Fearing American to go to your local bar and eat every last peanut in the place. Won't somebody please think of the peanut farmers?!

4) If anyone tries to keep you from having an abortion, kill them too!

Monday, August 08, 2005


599) The Quick and the Dead. I don't know what it is about westerns, really. Like this one, it wasn't all that great, the plot wasn't all that original, the acting was only so so, but I was completely drawn in the whole time. Like it doesn't even matter if it's good, it's a western and that's enough. I don't know, I just love them.

600) The Guns of Fort Petticoat. Audey Murphy sequesters himself with a group of foxy, gun toting frontier women. Well done, sir.

601) The Ugly Dachshund. I'm not really up on my late 60s Hollywood gossip, but was Suzanne Pleshette a total drunk? The whiskey voice, the awkwardly careful enunciation betrayed by a random slur, the way she couldn't keep her head from bobbing, it all kind of spelled cheap vodka in the toilet tank to me.

601 down, 399 to go.

10 more days til surgery...and pill popping!

25 more days til Bama (and UAB) football...and loudly screamed obscenities!

33 more shopping days til my birthday...and disgustingly large amounts of grilled meat!

Sunday, August 07, 2005


594) L'Eclisse. I would love to take this movie, print out each frame and hang them in order along a wall and walk along it and I'm sure it would be the greatest visual experience of my life. But watching it as a movie? Antonioni must have been the most depressing person to ever walk the face of the earth. After L'Avventura (which at least had "adventure") and L'Notte (which this was more enjoyable than) his whole bleak outlook on our inability to care for/communicate with/truly know one another (and therefor the futility of love, and, really, life) can really start to get you down. It did, however, further spark my desire for a loveless marriage held together by complacency, routine, and mind bending, jungle savage animal sex.

595) A Man Called Sledge. I guess since this was filmed in Italy Morrow felt it necessary to do an homage to (or parody of?) the Leone Spaghetti Westerns for the first five minutes, a task he was not up to. After that, it settled into a decent heist western. It was good to see James Garner with a pistol in his hand again after The Notebook. James Garner doesn't cry!

596) From Beijing with Love. Stephen Chow is absolutely brilliant. He's like the Japanese Mel Brooks before Mel Brooks sucked.

597) The Dukes of Hazzard. I knew I was going to hate this. Like most every other guy my age I grew up wishing I was a Duke boy and had my very own toy General Lee and watched every episode (even the ones with Coy and Vance) religiously, and as such it's attained an almost sacrosanct place in the memories of my youth. Plus, if Cooter says to stay away you best mind him. So where to begin? Things the Duke boys would never do, like swear in front of a lady, walk around with their shirt tales hanging out, take the lords name in vain, hit each other with phone books, refer to each other as "sumbitch" or "bff", smoke pot, express a desire to make sweet love to The General Lee, and express disdain at the repeated playing of Dixie by the General's horn? How about Uncle Jesse? I'm pretty sure he never told a dirty joke in his life or dropped a GD on anyone, much less Luke. And what's with Luke? He was the level headed responsible one while Bo was the girl crazy wild child, so why was Luke getting all the action while Bo was making creepy overtures towards his (male) car? And since when would Luke mess around behind Bo's back with the girl he knows Bo is after? And Daisy? Yeah, she shook what she had, but she was also a sly one and far more helpful than they let her be in this movie. And whoever cast Roscoe should hang up their hat because that was the worst piece of casting in history. The only two genuinely funny parts of the movie really had nothing to do with the Dukes at all. The cameo by the Broken Lizards guys as campus patrol was hilarious, and the bloopers real at the end when Joe Don Baker refers to looking at Simpson's "titties" and everyone in the room wants to laugh but can't was awkwardly funny only because you had to wonder why they would show that, but other than that, HATE. So don't waste your time seeing it in the theater, just put the money towards the DVD box sets instead.

598) Once a Thief. Lackluster John Woo picture. There was a pretty good shoot out a the end, but the story and script were cheesey. Whatever.

598 down, 402 to go.

11 more days til surgery. Come on, sweet knife.

26 more days til Bama (and UAB) football. Somewhere in East Tennessee Phil Fullmer is starting his waddle towards the UT sideline so he isn't late for the first game.

34 more shopping days til my birthday. Best Buy is stocked with the aforementioned Dukes of Hazzard DVDs. I'm just saying.