I actually have things to post about (for instance, I finally saw Brokeback Mountain friday night and then Dave Chappelle saturday), but instead here's a meme from Gunslingers until I feel like doing something substantial.

Please answer the following questions:
1) What is the worst DVD/video you own? Everyone has one. On the stack of videos there's always one that you got because it was on sale and you planned on renting it anyway, or you got it as a gift, or something. And there it sits. Staring back at you. When friends or acquaintances come over and naturally see what movies you have, you consider it like a puss-filled cold sore, hoping others ignore it but admitting that it's too blatantly obvious, especially considering your own awesome awesome taste in movies. Spousally owned movies do not count (Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde would win in a landslide, but that was the Lady's before marriage and remains hers alone now).

Freejack. It was $4.99 at Best Buy and I vaguely recalled liking it in middle school, but as it turns out it SUCKS.

2) What is the worst concert you've ever seen in person? This is a more open-ended question. It can be a terrible artist that you ended up seeing for some reason (work, a friend had free tickets, you were assigned to write a review). It can be a favorite (or would-be favorite if not for this show) artist who just sucked the o-ring out of an ass on that particular night. Have at it.

Ryan Adams, City Stages, Summer 2005. Seriously, that whole "it's great to be back at SXSW, now here's another song I wrote on the bus yesterday" got old fast.

3) What is the worst experience you've ever had at a restaurant? Another open-ended question. This can be poor service, poor food, whatever. It can be a robbery by a crackhead, foiled by quick-footed African janitors. It can be a drive through experience.

At the end of high school and most of college I was at the Waffle House nearly every night. It got to where the waitresses would put a cup of coffee waiting for me at whichever booth they wanted me when they saw me pull into the parking lot. Anyway, within a two week stretch all the good waitresses quit and the place went straight to hell. It was always filthy, you couldn't get anything resembling service, it was just awful. The next closest Waffle House was a good fifteen minute clip down the interstate and I started going to that one some, but it made going seem like a production since MY Waffle House was only five minutes away (three if I caught the lights) and I only went if I actually wanted to eat. One night a friend and I wanted to just go get coffee and we were right by MY Waffle House so we decided to just pull in there and suck it up instead of driving all the way out to the other one. We went in, got a booth and after a good little wait finally got our coffee. Two minutes later he said "we've got to get out of here" and I was like "why?" and he said "look over your shoulder." So I did. There, staring back at me, was a roach the size of a matchbox car sitting on the divider between the booth and the service stand calmly surveying our table. I haven't been back since.











Hey guys! Need a warm up?

4) What is the worst movie you've ever seen in the theatre? Self explanatory.

Dragonheart. Just awful. Corny, cliched, annoying as all hell, just awful. First time I ever seriously considered walking out of the theater.

5) What is the worst book you've actually finished? You can't say "I read a few pages and it sucked so bad I put it down..." You have to have finished the book. Fiction or non-fiction. No matter.

Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters - Michael J. Nelson. It made me imagine Nelson sitting at his desk thinking "What would Dave Barry do?"

6) Who is the worst looking or least appealing celebrity you would have intimate relations with "just to tell the story"? Assume marital or other obligations did not exist. Assume no consequences arise therefrom. Here's where we find out just how disgusting my readers are. The person must be a celebrity though - as in needs no introduction or explanation. The opposite gender is not required.

I had a mad crush on Chrissie Hynde when I was younger. She's not a lot to look at, but she's so fucking rock 'n roll.














Sadly, I'd hit it.