Thursday, March 30, 2006

The day will soon arrive when my family finds me dead at my desk from an apparent case of what doctors like to call "head exploding." The cause? Sharon. Fucking. Stone. Is there any creepier mental image than a psycho like Sharon Stone prowling the local Old Navy for young and impressionable girls to lecture about sex? Maybe it's just the Southern Baptist in me, but I'm pretty sure it isn't her place to be pulling kids aside after their parents are gone to have a frank discussion about the birds and the bees.


"If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job."

The hell? Exactly what situation is she talking about here? Because I'm pretty sure the only situation where one can't get out of sex is what law enforcement officials call RAPE. So if it comes down to it, girls, offer to blow your rapist and maybe he'll leave you alone.

Which one would you trust to be alone with your daughter?


Anonymous nico said...

Maybe she should team up with Bobby Knight on rape prevention. A sports/Hollywood crossover.

BTW, Basic Inskank 2 looks like it's going to be a big fat turd.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one word: preditor.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Chapel Hillbilly said...

I'm all about getting oral sex from Sharon Stone...

I'd give HER a Tony Danza!

6:03 AM  
Blogger Todd Jones said...

Don - I don't know about the sex part, but I wouldn't mind punching her in the back of the head.

7:11 AM  
Blogger Newspaper Hack said...

Ah, the simple joys of the donkey punch. With celebrities. I think I saw that on TV somewhere....

6:52 PM  
Blogger Newspaper Hack said...

Oh, and dude, check out my post on the Notre Dame box. I think it's time to pull the QBs and rely on the running game.

I mean, really, really rely on the running game. Fuck the wishbone, I say. Put four back there.

7:31 PM  

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