01-23-2005
66) City Heat. Stroker Ace, Shaft, and Josey Wales, all in the same movie? How have I not heard of this? Anyway, even if I never did it wouldn't have been too great a loss. Probably could have been a passable neo-noir if it weren't for the weird comic setups and sight gags that felt so out of place. I'm glad Eastwood is pretty much free to write his own ticket these days instead of having to appear in lightweight junk like this just to get paid.
67) Hard Promises. Sissy Spacek, in what I can only imagine as a prep role for her turn as the retarded daughter in The Straight Story, and William Petersen, in what I can only imagine as a prep role for his turn as a narcissistic, perpetual adolescent jackass in a movie he never got the part for, team up to produce the single most annoying daugher in the history of film. And the story was crap too. Just awful. The only thing that keeps this from being worse than Haiku Tunnel is that I wasn't screaming at the characters, but there were people asleep in the next room so that could have been part of it. A pox! A pox upon all involved in this travesty! And I'd make some sort of joke about how costume should have given Petersen a shirt to wear from time to time, but even when they did he left it unbuttoned so far down that you could still see his bare chest. THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO BUTTONS ON THAT SHIRT YOU JACKASS. USE THEM. And Petersen, what I'm assuming you thought was a macho, bowlegged cowboy amble just made you look like some mean bully had given you a wedgie before the start of the movie and you never quite recovered. I hate you.
DAMN IT.
67 down, 933 to go.
67) Hard Promises. Sissy Spacek, in what I can only imagine as a prep role for her turn as the retarded daughter in The Straight Story, and William Petersen, in what I can only imagine as a prep role for his turn as a narcissistic, perpetual adolescent jackass in a movie he never got the part for, team up to produce the single most annoying daugher in the history of film. And the story was crap too. Just awful. The only thing that keeps this from being worse than Haiku Tunnel is that I wasn't screaming at the characters, but there were people asleep in the next room so that could have been part of it. A pox! A pox upon all involved in this travesty! And I'd make some sort of joke about how costume should have given Petersen a shirt to wear from time to time, but even when they did he left it unbuttoned so far down that you could still see his bare chest. THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO BUTTONS ON THAT SHIRT YOU JACKASS. USE THEM. And Petersen, what I'm assuming you thought was a macho, bowlegged cowboy amble just made you look like some mean bully had given you a wedgie before the start of the movie and you never quite recovered. I hate you.
DAMN IT.
67 down, 933 to go.
posted by Todd Jones at 1:06 PM
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