01-09-2005
28) Bad Boys II. Big summer action movies get such a bad rap. I mean, I know the story is ludicrous and all the action is totally overblown, but it's fun to watch and when you really think about the logistics and technique required to film such elaborate sequences it's pretty incredible that these things get made. And the H2 product placement definetely worked cause I so want one now.
29) Haiku Tunnel. This was the first real test of my commitment and it took all the strength within me, plus a lot of screaming and cursing at the TV to get through this utter piece of shite. I absolutely, 100% hated this movie with every fiber of my being and am quite certain it will go down as the absolute worst movie I have ever seen in my whole life. And I've seen The Net people. Josh Kornbluth, shame on you. Shame on you for wasting 90 minutes of mine and what I imagine are the other seven people who actually watched this's time and for wasting the time of all the people associated with this movie. Your movie is filled with wholly unlikeable and, in your case, morally reprehensible, weirdly neurotic, disgustingly slobbish and so completely and totally and miserably stupid people that I would rather open both my wrists than even think about this movie again. FOR! THE! LOVE! OF! LITTLE! GREEN! APPLES! MAIL! THE! STUPID! LETTERS! If you are so totally neurotic that you can't even manage to do one simple task you shouldn't be in the work force AT ALL! NO! You should be in a psych ward somewhere! You are a danger to yourself and others! But really, it's not that you are too neurotic to function! It's that you are a fat, lazy, and irresponisble loser! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU AND I HAVE NOTHING BUT CONTEMPT AND ILL WILL FOR YOU! IF WE EVER MEET, I'LL MORE THAN LIKELY HIT YOU! Oh, and let's not forget that after 90 minutes of nothing but one cock up after another, your boss forgives you and you are square with the co-workers that you COMPLETELY DICKED OVER after they, for no good reason other than the goodness of their hearts, attempted to HELP YOU! DID YOU WRITE THIS MOVIE JOSH? WHY YES YOU DID! I HATE YOU!
30) You're Never Too Young. I had to watch something seriously funny after the Haiku Tunnel fiasco, and who better than Jerry Lewis to chase the angries away? The French might be utter failures in all things not involving pastry, but I can get on board with the whole Jerry Lewis is a genius thing. This had a lot of plot similarities with The Major and the Minor, but this time you could see how Jerry Lewis could be confused with a twelve year old whereas Ginger Rogers was clearly a full grown woman. About three too many Deano musical interludes, but Lewis was on top of his slapstick comedy game and it all worked out pretty well.
I watched You're Never Too Young off and on during the Packers/Vikings game (screw you Randy Moss) and then got ready for...DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES! Oh man, it's hands down the best show on TV. Why am I not a pharmacist? Marcia Cross is my everything! I'd even put up with those jerk kids of hers. But alas, it can never be. My heart belongs to another.
31) Key Largo. Didn't we almost have it all? Just like Bogey and Bacall? Yeah, so I went to bed watching this one and it's well deserving of it's "classic" label. Great story, great direction, great performances, just about everything you could ask for from a movie. And I loved the crazy drunken girlfriend. She played it just over the top enough and stole every scene she was in.
31 down, 969 to go.
29) Haiku Tunnel. This was the first real test of my commitment and it took all the strength within me, plus a lot of screaming and cursing at the TV to get through this utter piece of shite. I absolutely, 100% hated this movie with every fiber of my being and am quite certain it will go down as the absolute worst movie I have ever seen in my whole life. And I've seen The Net people. Josh Kornbluth, shame on you. Shame on you for wasting 90 minutes of mine and what I imagine are the other seven people who actually watched this's time and for wasting the time of all the people associated with this movie. Your movie is filled with wholly unlikeable and, in your case, morally reprehensible, weirdly neurotic, disgustingly slobbish and so completely and totally and miserably stupid people that I would rather open both my wrists than even think about this movie again. FOR! THE! LOVE! OF! LITTLE! GREEN! APPLES! MAIL! THE! STUPID! LETTERS! If you are so totally neurotic that you can't even manage to do one simple task you shouldn't be in the work force AT ALL! NO! You should be in a psych ward somewhere! You are a danger to yourself and others! But really, it's not that you are too neurotic to function! It's that you are a fat, lazy, and irresponisble loser! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU AND I HAVE NOTHING BUT CONTEMPT AND ILL WILL FOR YOU! IF WE EVER MEET, I'LL MORE THAN LIKELY HIT YOU! Oh, and let's not forget that after 90 minutes of nothing but one cock up after another, your boss forgives you and you are square with the co-workers that you COMPLETELY DICKED OVER after they, for no good reason other than the goodness of their hearts, attempted to HELP YOU! DID YOU WRITE THIS MOVIE JOSH? WHY YES YOU DID! I HATE YOU!
30) You're Never Too Young. I had to watch something seriously funny after the Haiku Tunnel fiasco, and who better than Jerry Lewis to chase the angries away? The French might be utter failures in all things not involving pastry, but I can get on board with the whole Jerry Lewis is a genius thing. This had a lot of plot similarities with The Major and the Minor, but this time you could see how Jerry Lewis could be confused with a twelve year old whereas Ginger Rogers was clearly a full grown woman. About three too many Deano musical interludes, but Lewis was on top of his slapstick comedy game and it all worked out pretty well.
I watched You're Never Too Young off and on during the Packers/Vikings game (screw you Randy Moss) and then got ready for...DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES! Oh man, it's hands down the best show on TV. Why am I not a pharmacist? Marcia Cross is my everything! I'd even put up with those jerk kids of hers. But alas, it can never be. My heart belongs to another.
31) Key Largo. Didn't we almost have it all? Just like Bogey and Bacall? Yeah, so I went to bed watching this one and it's well deserving of it's "classic" label. Great story, great direction, great performances, just about everything you could ask for from a movie. And I loved the crazy drunken girlfriend. She played it just over the top enough and stole every scene she was in.
31 down, 969 to go.
posted by Todd Jones at 2:32 PM
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