09-02-2005

690) Barry Lyndon. If he hadn't been all about making films, Stanley Kubrick could have made a career out of directing historical mini-series for A & E since this felt like a particularly long episode of Horatio Hornblower, that is, if Horatio were played by Ryan O'Neal and also apparently bothered by intense constipational pain since O'Neal appeared to be on the verge of tears from trying his damndest to crap his pants with little to no success. Honestly, I would have really enjoyed this if it hadn't been for O'Neal, but as it is I just couldn't get past him.

691) Family Plot. Another one that I would have liked a lot better if it hadn't been for one person. Blanche had to be the single most annoying character in Hitchcock's entire oeuvre. You couldn't count the number of times I wished Bruce Dern would just load up and slap her into the next room. Every single thing she did had me screaming "SHUT UP" at the screen. I just couldn't take her and was praying for the movie to be over with.

692) Uptown Girls. The "musician"? Douche bag. And his song sucked, too. "Na Na Na Na Na Na/Sheets of Egyptian cotton" is not a hook. I'd almost say three in a row, but even without him I wouldn't have liked it. HATE.

693) Wild Things 2. It was like the exact same movie, but without the horrifying sight of Kevin Bacon's stuff. Which I guess makes it kind of better.

693 down, 307 to go.

I'm just going to update now 'cause Arizona/Utah is on and I CAN'T STOP WATCHING.

Things I would like to see before I die:
1) At least ten more National Championships for Alabama.
2) The Acropolis.
3) This benefit concert.