08-27-2005
662) Rootin' Tootin' Rhythm. It really doesn't matter what the situation is, Gene Autry is going to pull some hot mexican leg EVERY TIME.
663) Overland Stage Raiders. John Wayne made some weird ones early on. Robbing buses, jumping out of planes, ventriloquism...
664) The Badge of Marshal Brennan. Small roles for future Spaghetti badass Lee Van Cleef and country balladeer Marty Robbins made this interesting. Van Cleef preened and hammed it up the whole time and was hysterical and Robbins had the worst Mexican accent ever besides looking nothing like a Mexican.
665) Outcasts of the Trail. Eh. Standard.
666) The Core. Get it? Because they burrow into "hell"? And it's movie #666? I am so clever.
667) Godsend. It's as bad as you've heard. Their house was pretty sweet, though.
668) The Fighting Temptations. Have you people noticed how hot Beyonce is? Seriously? Cause she is hot. Like, HOT hot.
669) The Big Hit. If within the first ten minutes of your movie Marky-Mark can be seen sporting a pair of denim manpris then you have not only failed your audience, you've failed yourself. Seriously, who writes this crap? It looked like something Maeby would have greenlighted. If it weren't for the fact that the four leads were so insufferably metrosexual it might have been at least worth a watch, but if an action character is only as tough as his wardrobe then these jackasses couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag with a giant hole ripped in the side, blinking exit signs all around it, and a sharply dressed hostess to point the way. And they were all so completely annoying and whiney and the story was really just a cross between 2 Days in the Valley and 8 Heads in A Duffel Bag but without the few redeeming qualities other than Kelly Bundy and the fact that the girl they kidnap kind of looks like the former Sara Skelton so Van can tell people his wife was in pictures and they should rent The Big Hit and she's the one they kidnap and they might actually believe him and I could really go on and on but whatever.
670) Going Greek. It's like PCU, but not funny!
670 down, 330 to go.
663) Overland Stage Raiders. John Wayne made some weird ones early on. Robbing buses, jumping out of planes, ventriloquism...
664) The Badge of Marshal Brennan. Small roles for future Spaghetti badass Lee Van Cleef and country balladeer Marty Robbins made this interesting. Van Cleef preened and hammed it up the whole time and was hysterical and Robbins had the worst Mexican accent ever besides looking nothing like a Mexican.
665) Outcasts of the Trail. Eh. Standard.
666) The Core. Get it? Because they burrow into "hell"? And it's movie #666? I am so clever.
667) Godsend. It's as bad as you've heard. Their house was pretty sweet, though.
668) The Fighting Temptations. Have you people noticed how hot Beyonce is? Seriously? Cause she is hot. Like, HOT hot.
669) The Big Hit. If within the first ten minutes of your movie Marky-Mark can be seen sporting a pair of denim manpris then you have not only failed your audience, you've failed yourself. Seriously, who writes this crap? It looked like something Maeby would have greenlighted. If it weren't for the fact that the four leads were so insufferably metrosexual it might have been at least worth a watch, but if an action character is only as tough as his wardrobe then these jackasses couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag with a giant hole ripped in the side, blinking exit signs all around it, and a sharply dressed hostess to point the way. And they were all so completely annoying and whiney and the story was really just a cross between 2 Days in the Valley and 8 Heads in A Duffel Bag but without the few redeeming qualities other than Kelly Bundy and the fact that the girl they kidnap kind of looks like the former Sara Skelton so Van can tell people his wife was in pictures and they should rent The Big Hit and she's the one they kidnap and they might actually believe him and I could really go on and on but whatever.
670) Going Greek. It's like PCU, but not funny!
670 down, 330 to go.
posted by Todd Jones at 12:15 AM
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