Thursday, June 22, 2006

In part three of the ten part "Celebrity Ass I'm Reasonably Certain I Could Kick" series, I present Sandra Bernhard. What makes me think I could kick her ass? Well, at the risk of sounding sexist, it's because she's a woman. Why would I want to kick her ass? Well, I wouldn't. I have a very strict "no hitting women" policy, one that enabled MWOAEG no end of amusement when she learned that no matter how hard she hit me I wouldn't hit her back (luckily for me she was a 5'3", 100 lb wisp of a girl who's hardest punch felt something like a sponge ball thrown at an extremely low velocity), but I imagine that if confronted with the hideous visage of Bernhard my fight or flight reflex would be triggered and, since I also have a very strict "no running ever...EVER" policy, I would wind up hitting her right in the face before realizing it was Sandra Bernhard and not a terrible demon sent here to steal my soul and possibly my extensive DVD collection.














Believe it or not, this is what she looks like before getting punched in the face...

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude, you totally hit me once!

9:03 PM  
Blogger TNIRISHFAN said...

Maybe it was the "Alabama Man" coming out in him.
Todd, I don't know about this one. You better knock Bernhard out in the first punch because after that she would probably jump on you and start biting chunks of flesh off.

6:31 AM  
Blogger Todd Jones said...

whatever, bitch, you wish i'd pay enough attention to you to hit you.

7:28 AM  

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