Today's "Boo-Fucking-Hoo" update courtesy of Cheyenne County, Nebraska where Richard W. Thompson, convicted of sexually assaulting a CHILD, gets probation instead of prison time because he's short. That's right, he's free to roam about as he pleases because he's only 5'1" and being in prison might be dangerous for him. The most surprising aspect of the tale, however, is that the National Organization of Short Statured Adults (my eyes have now officially rolled out of the building) is happy about it:

"I'm assuming a short inmate would have a much more difficult time than a large inmate," said (Joe) Mangano (secretary of the National Organization of Short Statured Adults), who is 5 feet 4 inches tall. "It's good to see somebody looking out for someone who is a short person."

Is this really the short person you want to stick up for, Joe? Because when I hear that someone has "sexually assaulted a child" and also that "he's really short," the former tends to define him for me.

Further, does this mean that short people can now go on crime sprees without worrying about incarceration? As State Senator Ernie Chambers notes:

"If shortness is an excuse and protection from going to prison, short people ought to rob banks and do everything else they would wind up going to prison for. We're talking here about a crime committed against a child, and shortness is not a defense."

Ready to rob some motherfuckers.